i stand there, looking at the plane take off ... i wonder if u are thinking of me .. because i am .. thinkin of u, that is ... of us .. of what could have been .. of wht is .. i shake myself out of the reverie to discover 'm the only one standing in the Departures lounge and wonder how long i was lost to the world .. i slowly turn around and not wanting to go back to the empty house, decide to catch up with someone .. anyone .. i look thro my Contacts and not finding anyone i feel like meeting, decide to go grab a coffee some place nywayz .. i hire a cab and blurt out to the driver - "****, **** Please" .. and then realize i jus gave him my office address ..


i walk into the office to find it empty .. saturday evening .. what did i expect .. 'm blessed with a seat next to the window in the 31st floor with an absolutely awesome view of the busiest and richest part of the city ... i pull my chair closer to the window .. the coffee was soothing .. the same vending machine coffee i usually scorned .. i look at the city below.. into the nite .. into my life ..

i traced a single bright blue spec out of the millions of tiny specs of numerous colors lighting up the city's nite life .. the blue was all i could see .. then that faded too and it was nothingness ..

the shrill ring of a phone somewre in the floor brought me back to reality .. i looked at the time .. it was five past two .. i must be going home .. but i didnt want to .. i sat there , millions of thoughts running thro my head, nothing registering ..

i was lost .. there i was, one minute, at the highest cliff of happiness .. n the next, s'one gives me a painful kick in the butt and i start falling into the tumults of water crashing into the sharp rocks below .. the cliff, the gushing waves with their milk white froth, the sharp rocks, the soft eroded corners of the cliff's visible bottom, the slight drizzle in the soft sun with the lovely bright rainbow .... looks gud as long as you are on the top of the cliff .. not when u tumult ur way to envelope them .. that is a new story all together .. the silly mind doesnt think of all this when it takes the risk of goin out to the very edge ..

it is a giddy feeling to look at the busy streets of a posh city from such a height .. does He feel this way, watching over his creations, i wonder .. he should soon be bored .. i was .. i turned back to my monitor ... typed a mail to s'one that i didnt send .. i was tired .. physically .. mentally .. i shut down the machine and got up .. i looked at the dark lonely cubicles .. only mine was lit .. i put off the lights and stepped onto the elevator .. the security guy smiled .. i waved at him absently and walked towards the train station .. i looked at the slowly fading moon and searched for the rising sun .. it was not dark anymre though the sun wasnt out .. i looked at the streets decorated colourfully for some festival that was still a month and half away .. wondered y i couldnt feel the happiness in the air .. no , i dnt have any regrets .. i jus have questions  .. and a lot of hurt ; a heavy aching heart .. and no, 'm not crying .. 'm done with THAT atleast .. and hre, i stop .. Amen !!