"Dont u dare touch it!!! " screamed Niteesh ... "u r such a stuck up spoil sport Nutty .. grow up!" -t'was me who gave that rude retort .. v wre all in the colony playground-cum-park and Niteesh was stopping us from touching a half dead butterfly lying on the cement bench .. he jus gave all of us - me, suraj, ria and ajju - a dirty glare and scooped the butterfly who by now was in her final stages of life and walked off with a huff ... v jus stared at his slowly disappearing back and started laughin .. and resumed our game ..
looking back today at that day, i couldnt help smiling at myself and also a li'l guilty, i admitted to myself sheepishly after all these years .. i used to cal him 'Nutty' .. :) and he hated that name .. we wre family frenz and also neighbours ... so, v practically grew up together ... v went to the same school - wre in the same class, infact - and to a college in the same city .. v used to fight a lot .. 'a lot' happens to be an understatement, in our case ... :) .. v wre more like family - Nutty (to me he'll alwayz be nutty :) .. ) and me .... and he was & is my best pal ... inspite of the fact that v alwazy fought ..
i looked around as i slowly moved into the almost broken down castle .. this was our haunt .. me, him and a whole load of others belonging to our gang .. v had so many memories - memories of numerous happy moments, fights, quarrels, misunderstandings, proposals, breakups , wat not ...... and to me and Nutty , t'was all the more memorable caz the day he left to the US and me to Germany (and then later on to Pune for work) each for our higher studies, v decided that v'll meet up on this particular day - today - in this same place ... t'was ten years back .. v never met in the intermediate period of our lives ..... i missed a big part of his life and he, mine .. but thro the years, v never once lost touch .. he still was my best fren and me, his .. he had his life and i had mine .. but v promised each other that v'll meet up - may be to relive the lost ten yrs , maybe .. or then , may be not ... v jus decided and so here i am ....... waiting for him and the others who also decided to show up ..
he hadn't made it yet .... t'was alwayz me who'll turn up atleast half an hour late to any kinda meetups or get togethers .. but today, i had come in an hour early caz i wanted to relive the old happy moments before the others come and commotion starts ..... nothing can equal reliving ur memories all alone .. lookin at each pillar , each brick brought back a memory that i cherish more than anything in my life .. there have been so many ppl in my life after that , but none like my best pal Nutty .....
also, another reason for this day to be special for me is that, this 'll be the last time i'll be coming here .. and i knew i ve to tel him this time , before itz too late ..
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'Fatso' - my best pal from the days when v wre toddlers to this day ..... she was a chubby kid with a cherubic face and cute dimples .. but then appearances can deceive like in her case caz shez the most naughty kid u can ever c .. such a prankster .. and our gang had a bunch of monkeys like her too .. :) .. and her college frenz or the frenz she made later on in life, all wre like her, a rowdy gang .. but inspite of all this, thro the years, shez been my best pal .. from whom i have never hid anything .. for whom, i 'll do anything .. from killing to dying .. :) ..
Fatso luvs pulling my legs .. and she njoys irritating me .. and me being the patient boy ever, she most of the times gets disappointed .. :P
and today, after a li'l more than ten years, 'm gonna meet my best pal ... she must be late as usual .. puntuality and Fatso never go hand in hand .. i was alwayz there to cover up for her .. poor Fatso musta suffered all these 10+ yrs with no one to cover up for her .. or may be she got herself a nice boy fren who does that for her nowadays .. she never mentioned one , but u can never cease to get surprised with Fatso .. She told me shez got s'thing to tel me .. so fat chance this mite be it .. :) ..
Nywayz, i must hurry up or she mite , for the first time in her life, beat me by reaching first ..
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"U r ten minutes late Nutty!" - i told with mock severity ... he looked at me up and down .. jus like that .. and blinked his eyes two three times , grinning all the while ....
"Fatso!! is that u????? my god, r my eyes deceiving me?? therez a gal in front of me but she says shez my Fatso .... wrez my tomboy Fatso?? "
I punched him hard on his shoulder and hugged my best fren for life .... "u ve grown up Fatso .. infact u look cute, if u dont mind my sayin so .. like a scarecrow!! :P "
that asked for some more slappings and punchings after which i looked him up .. he had changed too .. but then, ten years is not a short period of time na ... he had alwayz been a smart boy but all the more now .. he had creases on his forehead ... and he still looked skinny .. :)
"wat Nutty .. is ur wife bugging u a lot?? like me :P? u ve lines in ur forehead.. so howz Jeny??"
"oh that!! na .. my Jeny is a wonderful woman who doesn't trouble her hubby .. unlike u prankster .. so whoz life ve u put in jeopardy???"
"No one nutty .. jus mine .. as alwayz" - i winked at him ...
then a few of my old pals started walkin in and v sorta didnt get to talk again for a while ..
i looked over at him .. he was busy talkin to s'one .. i sat on a huge rock alone ...
i felt very nervous as i had to tel him today caz it had to be today or never .. and i owed him ..
"wassup monkey?? silence doesn't s'how suit u, does it?? so, watz nagging this li'l empty head of ur's??" ..
"Nutty ... I mite die soon u know .. "
"wat r u blabbering bot now??" ...
"itz Leukemia .. the doc gave me two months" ..
he jus stared at me like i wre already dead ... i felt sorry as i even told him .. but then, i felt that i owed him the truth and i didnt want some third person tellin my Nutty ..
"okie Fatso .. so lookin at u i thought u ve stopped playin pranks on ppl .. but u dont seem to ve eh?!! .. when r u gonna grow up moron?!" ..
"No nutty .. 'm serious .. "
"How?? wat happened? when??"
i looked at him .. he had tears in his eyes .. he cut a pathetic picture .. i felt very sorry for him ..
"APRIL FOOL" - i cried with much enthu ... "u thought i was speakin the truth Nutty??!! ha ha ha .. my dear april fool .. "
"u idiot .. dont u know when to stop?? u scared me for a few minutes .. u donkey" .. he ran after me and beat me royally .. :) .. then i went to his home for dinner as i was invited by his Jeny for dinner that day .. i met his newborn .. :) a really cute li'l gal child ..
I boarded the train ..mine was a window seat ... thank god caz i was in no mood for conversation .. not today .. i sat in my seat, leaned back and closed my eyes ...i had alwayz prided bot the fact that i never cried but today, tears flowed down freely .... my mind was travelling backwards .. why oh why .. life is so unfair .. or is it?? Probably .. i dont know anymore .. and i didnt care any more either ..
The train started moving .. I looked out at my best pal standing there .. he was waving .. I tried to smile at him but was not successful .. I jus looked at him until he was outta sight .. I leaned back in my seat and stared at the passing images .. I didnt ve the heart to tel him that he was not the april fool but t'was me .. and i didnt wanna think bot how much he'll be shattered after my two months r up .. the train picked up pace .. i got lost in my past .. "m sorry Nutty .. u'll alwayz be my best pal ..

Oooh .. those gud old days (nostalgic .. :( .. he he he) .. i used to wear rubber chappals when i was in my primary school .. and i missed wearing rubber chappals for while now .. used to use rubber chappals only as bathroom chappals .. until recently when i finally overcame any such feelings of shame for wearing 'em outside .. now i wear a faded jean, a pathetic t-shirt and darling RUBBER CHAPPALS and i dont mind goin out like that ..like a scarecrow .. even when i know everyone around me 'll b decently attired .. caz i finally have come to terms with the fact that i cant be Sush decently attired or not .. so, atleast let me relish my chinna chinna santhoshangal ... ;) .. so, here i am .. back to square one .. like my gud school days ..

u know wat .. during those days, i used to be soo proud of my BRAND NEW hawaii chappals that i used to get everytime i lose my old pair .. and i did that way too often .. 'll go to the park, play till it gets soo dark i cant c the swing or see-saw anymore and then head home realising only then how tired and famished i was - forgettin my chappals in some god-forsaken part of the park wre i wud ve tossed it earlier in my enthu for playing .. wud reach home and then realise 'crap .. forgot my chappals' .. my ma 'll give some royal thrashings and send me back to park to search for the lost property ... "Dont come back home without the chappals .. and is this pair lost too or u remember wre u left 'em?? " ... "i know ma .. itz there in the park only ..near the swings .. 'll get 'em in five min" ...
"LIAR" - conscince mocking ..
"will u be able to find???" - my gud concerned angel worried ..
i frantically search every patch of the park .. run over to every nook and corner ...and itz already half an hour since i left home sayin i'll b back in five min .. itz another half an hour before i successfully dig out one of the chappals from the sand at the bottom of the circus .. then search goes on even more frantically for another half an hour before i finally locate the other one ... then i head home patting on my back myself ... till i reach home that is .. after that, "look at the time .. u told me u knew wre u had left 'em .. then y the hell r u so late??? u r very very careless kanna .. BLAH ..BLAH .." ....... my bro wud be grinnin from ear to ear ... me will me longing to box his ears wel and gud ... then i'll take bath and settle down to do my home work .. me and my bro share a room .. so in a few min, v'll start one of our regular fighting sessions .. and t'll continue until one of my parents intervene and blast us both royally .. then silence until the clock nears 9.30 .. time for dinner .... he he he .. fight again for the remote ... "both of u , switch off the tv and go to the dining room and eat ... hereafter no eating in front of the television .. out both of u" ..
"unnala thaan da gunda"
"onnum illa .. unnala thaan .. cant u lay ur hands off the remote atleast for one day .. itz alwayz u who ve it" ..
"poda idiot"
"podi loosu"
....................
"enna satham inge???? eat without any racket .. any more sound from either of u, and u r in deep trouble"
"yes pa" - chorus .. silence ... finish eating and then study for a while or atleast thats wat v wre s'posed to do and thats wat my parents believe v wre doin till date .. but v'll ve a 'mouna sandai' with gestures and glares enuf to melt a mountain of iron if there ver was one .. then itz bed time folks ...
oooooh .. i miss those fighting sessions and the scolding sessions .. and the chappal losings also ... (devlish grin again) .. :D .. now i ve four five pairs alwayz but no one to scold me if i lose 'em .. if at all i get to lose 'em that is ... :) .. but i never luv these pairs of sandals like i luv'd my rubber chappals .. he he he .. they r the best - ever .. :P

I was alwayz fascinated by train journeys .. especially by the ones that that our heroes or heroines go on in our movies ... and so i was alwayz aspiring to go on such journeys .. that was one reason for my dream to be a journalist .. they get to travel a lot na .. but then, as usual my parents had an entirely different idea .. :( ... nywayz, coming back to our topic, so i wanted to travel by train .. esp., on a long journey and not with my parents but by myself .. ;) .... but of course, i never got to go on such a loooong journey till date .. (and thank God for that!!! )
but in my school days, that was one of my biggest dreams ... :) .. and once i entered college, my parents let me travel the short three hour journey from salem to coimbatore (my native) by myself ... but i was a lot disappointed when i saw the trains .. our trains here r soooo filthy that it revolted me ... i felt very uncomfortable to be seated in those seats ... and the mosquitoes that accompany during the journeys are added kerosene to burning fire .. and the co-passengers wre no consolation either ..
after college, i landed up in a much-appreciated (no .. not by me .. but everyone other than me) software job ... and i was posted in Chennai much to my ecstacy ... i was praying that i wudn't be posted in some part of india which was not easily accessible from home .. thus, the saga of my train journeys started on a bigger note .. i missed home sooo much that i used to go home every weekend ... and my admiration for the train journeys detoriated ounce by ounce every time i made a trip home ..
nywayz .. when i think of all those toy bogies and engines that my parents bought for me and my bro when we wre kids, i feel gud inside inspite of the bitter experiences ... yeah .. thats exactly wat it is .. a bitter experience .. and whenever i think of train journeys, i never fail to remember that one journey during my first months of coming to Chennai ...
Office was declared a holiday for some festival and as is obvious, i was headed home ... a few of my collegues are also from coimbatore and so v wre travelling together .. t'was a long nite wat with all of us chatting and pulling each others legs ... v wre havin fun until one Thaatha from the next coach started cursing us ... he was not able to sleep b'coz of the sinlge light that was on and also b'coz of our laughter .. so we had no choice but to hit the sack .. t'was fine by everyone except me as all of us had a very gruelling time at office and wre tired to the bones .. but , alas, for poor me .. i never can sleep in the filthy, smelling berth .. i never sleep when 'm travelling ... so i sat up in the side lower berth and started lookin outside at the vague, dark, occasional images of fields and trees and stuff ... t'was starting to become sorta cold but if i close the windows, then the ever frenly mosquitoes wud decide to gimme company .. so, i decided that the cold was better company then the mosquitoes .. i was running a low fever and the cold made me feel worse .. throat started hurting soo much and i wanted very badly to drink s'thing hot .. i had promised my pals that i wudn't at any cost get down from our coach without one of the guys accompanying me .. so in the next station, i cald out a name or two of my pals who wre snoring away to glory .. but none stirred .. and train stops only for five minutes in that station and god knows how long t'll be b4 the next station .. so me the ever brave lady got hold of my wallet and went to the door of our coach ... there wre only a handful of ppl who got down in that stop .. i was jus lookin around not sure if i'll get down or not when i saw s'one get down from my next coach .. my curiosity kindled, i leaned forward and looked at the person and in the process dropped my wallet ..
and curse my luck, it fell in the gap between the train and the platform onto the tracks .. the gap was so narrow that i cant get down and get the wallet and my arms wre not long enuf to get it standing on the platform ... i jus stood there blinking like a moron .. all the bravado of the past few minutes had vanished and i stood there like a lost school kid unsure of wat to do ... and there wre jus two few precious minutes left for the train to take off again .....
thats when i heard a voice , "wassup?" ... i looked up to find the person whom i was straining to look at jus a min back ... he was a smart guy :P ... "Nothing"- i told him ..
he started laughing and asked "so u dropped ur wallet eh?!!" .. :-/ .. so if u knew, then wat the heck wre u asking me again for u smarty-pants .. "yeah .... " ...
"hold this " - he gave me his duffel bag .. i got it dutifully from him .. he removed his sneakers and socks and put his long leg between the narrow gap and took out my wallet expertly .. :-) .. i thanked him and he then asked me wat i was doing at that time near the door with my wallet .. i explained to him that i had a sore throat and wanted to drink s'thing hot to ease my poor throat ... he then went off and was back in a few sec with a steaming cup of coffee ... i was so grateful i jus took the cup from him forgetting to thank him ..the train started moving and only then did i realise i didnt know that guy at all .. i jus handed over his bag and extended my hand with a five rupee coin in it .. money for the coffee .. he didnt take it .. he jus smiled at me and told me to get inside and not drop it again .. and the train started gaining speed and he disappeared from my view ..
today, i dont even remember that guy's face .. if he stands rite in front of me, i wont recognize him .. but i still 'm very grateful to him .. he made my day that day .. :) thanx for some gud souls, i dont hate train journeys that much after all .. :P

Wel .. if u think 'm gonna complain here bot growing older or s'thing, na .. 'm not .. i jus wanted to share some opinions .. okie ..not exactly .. i wanted some place to vent my feelings .. now 'm honest ..
and 'm not bothered bot growing old .. everyone does .. so thats okie .. :P.. but the point 'm really pissed off with is, throughout my life, i was alwayz cald the older one jus caz 'm the elder child... c'mon .. when 'll i ever be cald a kid then?????? at the max, i got this-"ELDER KID" .. :-/
"kanna .. u r the eldest .. u must only adjust .. give it to him" - my ma when me and my bro fought for a ball ...
"okie kanna .. all the best .. btw, take care of ur bro .. u r the eldest .. so must be responsible .. u r not a li'l kid" - my dad when me and him went for a inter school competition ...
"illa da .. u give in .. after all, he's a small kid na .. u 'll ve to adjust" - my gran when v both fought bot s'thing ..
... and this goes on everywre ..... not jus at home ...
when he gets caught after playing some prank at school , i'll be cald by his teacher ..
"Anu .. he's ur kid bro and u must only take care of him .. playing pranks in school is not gud ..young kids alwayz do this ... u only being the elder sis and a grown up kid, must advice ur brother" ... all i can do is -"okie miss .. sorry bot this time .. 'll make sure nothing of this sort is repeated again" ..
and if by chance, u get caught doin s'thing , then itz like - "wat nonsense is this?? is this the sorta behaviour v expected from a grownup child like u?? and being the elder kid, u must be a role model for the younger ones .. quite some model u r .. leading him in all the wrong ways .." ... as if , if not for me, he'll a gem of a kid ...... :- .. gimme a break okie ..
btw, 'm to set his example .. then, wre'z MY model person??? from whom ve i learnt all the pranks??? no one seems to think bot THAT .. itz alwayz "set a gud example for ur li'l bro" ... man!!! i had enuf of being the older one alwayz .. u'll b ten yrs old and ur younger sibling 'll b six or seven .. so u r not a kid but u r the OLDER CHILD ... the responsible one .. responsible , my foot .....
so thus went a major part of my childhood .. not that this was in any way a hindrance to me being the naughty one in school or college or even at work , for that matter ..... but still .. :- ..
After all this that i went thro in my life , at last i was this first year student in the electrical dept .... for a yr, i was one of the younger ones .. or so i thought ...until i heard bot the fact that our college also had a polytechnic in the campus ... :-/ .. curse my luck .. the students in Polytechnic, as u must be aware, ve finished only tenth grade while we, the first years ve completed our twelfth grade .. so, when any staff catches us making noise in the class, t'll be - "look at those polytech kids .. they r two yrs younger than y'all .. how disciplined they r .. y'all being older, must set them an ex.... .. ... .. " - okie .. u can guess the rest .... so my hopes wre snatched away in the first few days of college ....
okie .. so i was waiting for the four years to complete hoping atleast i can be a young TRAINEE in office.. :P .. and the D-day came too .. i was one among those hundreds of young trainees .. but there was this villian in the form of rules .... u r all young to the organisation but old enuf to know that rules are to be followed .. so v WRE old here too .. another term i happen to detest is "PROFESSIONALS" .. oh pllleeeaaazzzzeeee .. professionals , sure .. only to illustrate that u r OLD ENUF ... s'how i ven't found that term to be used for anything else till date ..
so, comin back to track, now i ve lost all hopes of ever being the KID and not the OLDER or ELDER or RESPONSIBLE kid .. but atleast , being the elder kid i had my own share of fun which the younger (!!) ones cant .... ;)
and i sorta fit the role - elder kid- as my bro says and so true to his words, today, my bro gets his monthly allowance from both me and my parents .. :-/ ...