The Decision ...
Posted by Robbie | Posted in | Posted on Thursday, July 05, 2007
He opened his book .. with the resolve to complete atleast one chapter .. but he couldn’t manage even a line , forget a chapter .. he was too worried and tensed , for him to be able to concentrate ... people do make mistakes, he tried comforting himself ... 'but not such a big mistake .. mistakes!! .. so many !! ' - his conscience mocked .. he was far too into it for him to be able to come out of it now .. he tried telling himself he'll stop .. tomorrow .. it was alwayz tomorrow .. but tomorrow never has dawned yet .. not for him ... he thought of mama ... mama would b deeply hurt .. she would cry and throw a tantrum if she ever found out .. papa was different though ... he would calmly take the news and then disown him as if he were discarding a waste paper ... that was papa for u ...
he couldn’t remember how and when he started ... probably his dad was to be blamed too .. if he had not been as strict as he was ... if he had been more open and warm to him .. if he had told it in words and actions that he loved him .. if only papa had told him once ..
mama was the opposite ... all she really cared bot was whether he and papa were fed wel .. her world was the kitchen ... like papa's was his study or the college wre he taught in the other end of the city ...
papa hated drug addicts ... so, that much was clear - he would hate him the moment he hears about it .... he split open the hem of his cotton shirt and out spilled a few packets of ketamine and cocaine .. enough for a week .. his hands played with it while his mind was racing .. was this the right decision?? will it hurt papa and mama too much?? would him being around reminding them hurt more?? the conflict in his head was giving him a head ache ... when he could no longer put up with the pain, he tore open a packet and started rolling out all of it ..
his mom would know when she peeped into his room later in the nite that her son was sleeping peacefully ..but she wouldn’t know it was also an eternal sleep ..
he couldn’t remember how and when he started ... probably his dad was to be blamed too .. if he had not been as strict as he was ... if he had been more open and warm to him .. if he had told it in words and actions that he loved him .. if only papa had told him once ..
mama was the opposite ... all she really cared bot was whether he and papa were fed wel .. her world was the kitchen ... like papa's was his study or the college wre he taught in the other end of the city ...
papa hated drug addicts ... so, that much was clear - he would hate him the moment he hears about it .... he split open the hem of his cotton shirt and out spilled a few packets of ketamine and cocaine .. enough for a week .. his hands played with it while his mind was racing .. was this the right decision?? will it hurt papa and mama too much?? would him being around reminding them hurt more?? the conflict in his head was giving him a head ache ... when he could no longer put up with the pain, he tore open a packet and started rolling out all of it ..
his mom would know when she peeped into his room later in the nite that her son was sleeping peacefully ..but she wouldn’t know it was also an eternal sleep ..
