my scribblings

tales from home#1

2012-01-27T19:26:00.000+08:00

Well .. have u guys heard of anyone changing their retirement plans jus caz their company issued a brand new id card ('m told to stress this - WITH A TAG) two months before the planned retirement ??!!! no??? never??? wel, plz hear it now .. from a totally flabbergasted and distressed daughter .. who all the while has been thinking her parents wre gonna visit her in coupla months n stay on for a bit with her ..

so, yes, an id card 'with a tag' killed my plans of more than a few months !! itz possible .. trust me .. 'm rite there, rite now .. sighhhh !! my dad n his loyalty to his company s'times jus crosses over to an xtreme .. n talk bot irony !! 'm already feeling like itz time for me to retire !!! *rolling eyes* i knw !!

Happy Pongal everyone !!

2012-01-15T00:51:00.002+08:00

when u r standing at the top of a flight of stairs and ur dad's at the bottom with his hands outstretched, thinkin u'll run down the stairs and into his hands .. n u, with the unshakable trust that dad'll be there to catch you safely, jus jump frm the top step and tumble down all the way into dad's hands, with a broken head .. that, my frenz, is wat faith is all about ..
even though there were times whn appa wasnt able to stop me from falling, like the above, he was alwayz there to comfort and console me and set things right, no matter how much i screwed up .. missing appa and amma ..and Pongal at home ...
Happy Pongal folks :) May this Pongal bring lot of happiness and prosperity your way ...

2011-09-26T02:12:00.001+08:00

i sat on the park bench and looked at the clear blue sky and the fading lines of the mountains .. he came and sat nxt to me on the bench silently .. v didnt talk .. v jus sat thr for a long time staring at the far away mountain peaks .. n far away it was .. as far away as the time v first met - me n him .. it wasnt as dreamy as these moutains though .. it was so vry ordinary, u wudnt even give it a second thought had it not happened to u .. it happened to me, so i did give it a thought .. n some mre ..

i tried to drive as fast as possible in the impossible traffic .. i had overslept and was terribly late to work .. n that being the first day in the new proj .. n that too as a team lead !! i couldnt help feeling a li'l gud inside at the thought of the 'team lead' part .. thr will be ppl reporting to me .. glowing inside, i swerved into the office building and did not realize until the security guard gave a piece of the choicest words he knew, that i had entered thro the gates marked 'Exit' .. apologising n mumbling an xcuse that it was my first day in that building, i made a vain attempt at a smile despite his glaring eyes ..

i swiped my ID and pushed the door .. the door didnt budge .. i tried again .. no change .. the door jus glared at me with challenging eyes .. i looked all over the place for some friendly face .. none .. finally had to go over to the reception and explain my predicament and had to sign a dozen papers before the helpful receptionist gave me a temporary card that worked the doors with a charm .. i ran into the lift n crashed into the only guy who was in thr .. n i wud never forget the look he gave that day till my last breath .. i apologised a million times but his look still said that he knew i crashed into him caz he was handsome .. he actually was !! .. but that was not y i crashed into him .. t'was honest clumsiness and the hurry to get into the lift before itz doors closed shut .. ahh wel .. let him think wat he wants .. i wudnt even probably meet him ever again and he nywayz wudnt recognize even of v did .. so then , that safely put behind, i slowly realized i hadnt pressed the button for my floor .. he was looking at me .. and i felt really embarassed .. he got off at the third floor and i got off too .. i ducked into my rather huge handbag and made a big show of searching for s'thing and came up with my mobile that was almost dying with no charge .. the guy was looking at me still .. so i jus cald mom and started talkin random stuff .. i have to give it to her, my mom's a real sport .. shez the best .. once i made sure the guy had left the vicinity, i decided lift wasnt lucky for me that day n took the stairs ..

after some frantic searching i finally found the PM's room and t'was empty .. i sat on a chair in thr n waited for a gud half hr bfr he made his appearance, looking all fresh n rested .. i caught a glimpse of myself in the glass door n cursed under my breath .. i must ve atleast washed my sweaty face in the time i sat waiting for him .. nywayz, he smiles and introduces himself n says he's pleased to meet me .. n then he directs me to the HR who then directs me to my work station .. a nice cozy workstation that is closed in three sides and a tiny entrance on one side .. it felt vry nice even though it looked like a rat hole, for the only reason that i didnt ve to share it with anyone , unlike the other workstations wre there were four in each .. nywayz, t'was a challenge for jus me to fit into that small gap of a workstation , so letz not even think bot sharing it .. another awesome thing bot it was, i had to share my landline phone only with one other person who sat on the other side of the partition .. or so i thought .. i became more the wiser in a few days whn i realized that the lady that i shared the phone with was a HR and used the phone frm 9 AM to 6.15 PM which is when she calls it a day ..

nywayz, the next shocking piece of news for the day came jus a few minutes after i settled into my new place .. and that was in the form of the handsome face that i had crashed into jus a few mintues back .. the guy sits rite next to me .. n i ve to get used to the naked look of contempt as i was gonna work in that proj for atleast the next ten months .. n i already knew i didnt like him .. handsome or nt .. n he made it clear jus with that look of his, that the feeling was perfectly reciprocated .. gud .. gr8 start .. i was already loving it .. jus count on my luck .. it has never failed me .. i HATED it and was home sick for my old team and workstation ..

i woke up with a heavy and pained heart and made it to the kitchen lookin as miserable as i felt .. my roomie, being the soft and sweet thing that she was, made some coffee for me and said everything 'll b fine .. bless her .. i downed the coffee and rushed to my room .. i was goin to be late again .. as usual .. in all this hurry, i burned one of my fav dupattas while ironing .. that was the last straw .. i jus got into some informal clothing and drove like a maniac to office .. n then my boss tells me i need to go for a meeting asap .. i rush to the meeting room and stop rite at the entrance .. everyone in the meeting room had white hair, if at all .. n then the guy who was heading the meeting throws me that impatient look and i go in meekly n take an empty seat .. n much to my embarassment, he looks at me and says, "Please ask some seniors in your team to join the meeting too .. itz a vry important meeting and i was informed that the team lead was goin to join from your team" .. i inform him 'm the team lead .. u can imagine the rest ..

later that day, i overheard him telling my boss he hadnt expected a kid to be the team lead .. especailly one that looks like a scarecrow in jeans and t-shirt on a weekday .. n i was vry much gratified when my PM told him that i had cleared all the interviews with top scores and that i came with strong recommendations from my previous PMs and HR .. with a smug look i turn to go to my place whn i notice The Guy glaring at me accusingly for evesdropping .. i make a vain attempt at acting like i didnt know why he was glaring and beat a hasty retreat to my rat hole safely without crashing into him ..

n thats how it all started and thats how life went on for a few weeks .. sigh .. s'times life loses all the spice n sugar when it is filled with too much of both .. huh ,nywayz, y'knw wat i mean ..

n then he came !!!!!! a new addition to my team .. hw could s'one be so handsome and yet so unaffected by it .. and he was goin to report to me !!! haaaa !! finally something nice happening !! or so i thought !! yet again !! thr r s'things i never seem to learn no matter how many times i get beaten up !! so i welcome this guy with open arms n heart (okie okie .. i'll stop) .. wel, so i welcome him happily .. n whn i learn v r same year passout, needless to say, i was doin a dappan kuthu in my heart .. only until i learnt he n The Guy were close frenz !!!

i turned n looked at the still handsome face in the fading light .. my heart still flutters jus looking at him .. after all these years .. curse this heart that jus cannot change .. he musta felt my stare , he turned to me n smiled that smile of his .. i jus stared at him .. he smiled .. smiles .. guess will alwayz smile .. no matter wat .. my heart was heavy .. it couldnt smile like him .. so i jus stare .. i didnt ve a handsome (it shud b cute , rite?!! ah wel .. watever) smile like him .. mine's so ladden with conflicting emotions .. itz not easy n warm like his .. y cant i smile like that? ve i ever smiled like that? even once? i dunno .. not like it matters to u .. it does to me though .. all the small things too matter to me now .. guess thats wat age does to u ..

t'was late .. i sat working , not realizing that the floor was almost empty .. i hadnt moved from my seat from morning .. some issues got escalated and i had a bad meeting with my manager early in the morning .. n so i had to turn in a lot of work n within a short time too .. i was so engrossed in my work that i didnt realize when he came and stood next to me .. dunno how long he waited .. i was jolted to the real world by his frantic coughing .. his look clearly said 'wre u really concentrating in work or wre u sleeping with ur eyes glued to the monitor' .. i was too tired to argue n jus stared back with a question mark all over my face .. not sure wat triggered it, maybe he saw the weariness n felt sorry for me .. he suddenly gave this amazing smile that lit up my tiny li'l rat hole .. my heart started hammering so loudly n i felt like it echoed in the empty office floor .. i almost got knocked down from my chair when he asked me to the cafe for maggie noodles .. i wasnt so sure if i wanted to go with him when the handsome teamie came up behind n told me i need to ve atleast one meal a day .. the look in the Guy's face started showing irritation n i suddenly lost my temper .. the day had been horrible as it is and i didnt want to put up with high n mighty ppl .. the smile of a moment ago forgotten, i jus refused the offer n turned my back to 'em n started typing some junk code frantically .. they left ..

after about 30 minutes i felt my eyes closing n decided to grab a coffee from the pantry .. washed my face, had a coffee n brought along one mre to my seat .. didnt notice the brown parcel initially but suddenly it showed itself with all itz glory n the smile that was forgotten came back with all itz sunlight .. i opened the brown cover to find a sandwich .. i shouted a random 'Thanks' directed at the nxt cabin .. didnt get a response but that didnt change the mood .. a song on the lips , a smile on the face ..

i dropped my walking stick with a clatter .. but bfr i could rise, he got up .. he held both, the walkin stick and my hand and v just sat thr, njoying the slight cool breeze and the view .. n it was getting dark slowly .. n silvery, evn more slowly, with the generous moon splashing itz light all over .. i guess i finally felt peace .. i had finally come to terms with life ..

we didnt speak to each other much .. he alwayz looked at me with that contemptous look .. and i alwayz looked at him with enemity .. but as it happened, caz of the cute guy in my team, v ended up having food or coffee together every once in a while .. he seemed to be a worser workaholic than me n so i found him almost all the time at his seat .. n then he went on vacation to his home town .. n thats whn i realized i actually missed him ..

got pulled back to the reality by a thump on the head by a football .. i looked at it irritably n glared at the figure that had kicked the ball .. a face with an apologetic smile plastered on it stared back at me .. i wud ve liked to be in the old lady's shoes for some more time n weaved some more stories .. now that , thats over, i glared at the guy who spoilt it all ..

okie so lemme introduce myself .. time i did nywayz :) .. i am A .. i had come to the park today to get some fresh air and finish a novel .. i didnt get to do that though .. my mind started wandering, making itz own story when i saw the old couple .. n thats the story above .. i dunno the real story of their lives .. but i do ve a silly mind that can be satisfied with itz own version of everything and everyone .. n i felt satisfied .. they looked so happy and content .. n s'how that was all that mattered at that moment .. i got up with a light heart n a skip in my step .. they looked up whn i got off my bench .. i greeted 'em n tore myself away from the happy scene bfr me n headed towards my apt .. i had to get back to my story now .. the real one this time .. after all, at the end of our days, we all have our tales .. n i ve to make my mine ... :)

random ...

2010-11-05T02:52:00.001+08:00

a close fren (CF) had sms'd today after a short gap of me bein incommunicado ..

CF : hey gurl !! blah blah ...
me : helllooooooo thr .. me's fine .. blah blah ..
CF : so wat u been upto?? any plans of goin to india??
me : yep .. planning to go for coupla weeks .. begging boss char for leave .. :)
CF : wowww .. sooper ..whn goin?? gimme dates .. v shud catch up .. 'm plannin to come arnd May ..
me : i meant like nxt weekend lurvvv ... nxt yr May is like some time far away in the future .. i wud
ve made four five trips home by then ..lol .. v sure can catch up :P:P
CF : i hate u is all i want to say to u rite now .. over n out !!!
me : lol .. luv ya tooo .. tc .. OnO .. ;)

got another sms in the middle of all this .. frm bro .. he gets in touch after a week of absconding frm mom .. n hence no cal/sms/mail to me .. as mom wud try to get him to cal her thro me ..
Bro : balance back to base .. broke .. donation plz .. luv u sis .. tc
and he got his salary on the 1st .. and i get mine on the 8th of each month !!!!

PS : btw, this said Close Fren (CF) resides in the Aussie land ..

PSS : yayyy .. home sweet home , nxt weekend ..
hey , 'coupla ppl who read my blog n live in chennai/cbe/tpr' , me wud b arnd for two weeks exactly .. buzz bfr nxt friday on my num or on mom's num after that .. :)

The Himalayan Trek part-1

2010-10-04T01:25:00.011+08:00

Everyone, including my ever patient mom, got irate with me after hearing umpteen times my gushing about the last weeks trek experience. So i resorted to the only other option available in hand, to blog about it. And here goes ...

To start off, I had been on a trek to the Himalayas (Hamptah Pass) - yes , u heard rite - last week and from the moment I got back, I haven't been able to think of anything else but the trek .. the lovely landscape, chilly mountains, the absolutely awesome gang, the heavy backpacks, soggy clothes, the snow, rain, water, rocks .. green, white, red everywhere ..

How I miss waking up in the tent each morning, frozen with cold .. brushing at the streams .. the hot tasteless chai outside the kitchen tent that was like heaven .. the dhal-chawal dinners of 15 hungry, cold n tired souls crammed into the dining tent with a bleak torch that made everything in the vessels look yumm .. the customary sip of vodka or rum in the nites rite outta the bottle that gets passed around in circles .. the desperate hunt in the backpacks each day to find some dry, warm piece of cloth .. the unpaved grounds of the mountains that remind u of the olden days Robbie rides to office in OMR road ..

And best n the most missed of all this, the 14 ppl i spent that one week with .. who wud have known that i can miss folks whom i had no clue existed just a few days back !! Miss u guys !! each person was unique in his/her own way .. and best part was, inspite of the differences, v jus felt rite together as a group ..

so, there was Pavan, our Organizer , to whom v owe this trek. Thanks pavan ... if not for u, i wudnt ve had such a memorable trek .. a serious, very responsible n caring person, our pavan was .. i jus hope his fren tamal joins for his next trek bcoz pavan had tears in his eyes when he said he missed his fren .. tamal, whoever u r, make it to pavan's nxt trek :) n make sure this guy has some fun n is not alwayz a busy body, running around all over the place worried bot organizing things wel ..

n then there was Vignesh (the only person I had known before the trek) , henceforth to be referred to as 'scientu anna' .. scientu is a quiet, calm, caring person .. but he transforms into a tarzan the moment he sees any of his fellow trekkers in trouble .. then he starts prancing frm rock to rock , trying to save the soul in need .. like the time he decided Vish was in trouble and he had to save him and so he jumped rite over an edge and was dangling for dear life .. :P

then there was Harsha, my tent mate .. wat can i say !! each morning whn i wake up, i peep outta my quilt half expecting to c her in her sleepin bag in the tent .. miss u lady!! the first time i spoke to her, i knew i got a fren .. each day started with her n me brushing n washin our face with ice cold water in the streams .. and the last person to wish me gn was her during the entire trek ..

then Arun .. he's the youngest in our gang .. like a kid bro to everyone .. he's so full of energy and enthusiasm, u cannot help but get infected with a li'l of that, whnever u are around him .. arun, 'll surely send u the song list, u really need a lot of mending in that front .. ur list sucks!! big time !! :P:P btw, did u do that facial?? n did it help?? :P:P lol and henceforth, this guy will be referred to as 'the baniyan guy', as s'one addressed him during the trek (dnt blame me re, u lived up to it..) .. and oh yeah , he tried to murder me twice during the trek !!! GRRRR !!! twice that i know of, atleast !!

next person wud be Prasanna .. wat, oh wat, can i say bot this guy .. i dnt ve words to express the spirit and energry this guy has in him .. with him around, u dnt ve time for anything else but to laugh .. he's such a sport (and the Donkey in all the games ..he he) .. Prasanna, all thanks to u , v all had a lovely time in Chatru .. i dnt remember the last time i laughed so much, with no care bot anything .. that nite's games of Bluff and Donkey wre the best i ve ever played .. :) u rock prasanna !!

then there was Raja (henceforth , Doc S @ Doc Senior) .. he was the quietest of the lot and the most mature .. most of the second and third day, he accompanied me thro my slow progress towards the base camp and he was one of the first frenz i made so easily without even realizing it .. thanks doc .. doc is a storehouse of brains .. i was ashamed of myself whn he talked bot linux and some IT stuff .. even though he's professionally a doc, he knws far more than i ever did/wud bot IT .. hats off !! and yeah, doc, u owe some of those gud pics of u , to the not-so-bad photographer me, like the one in ur FB :P:P n me read that book u suggested , luv'd it :)

comin next is our other doc Sudhakar (henceforth, doc J , for Doc Junior) .. he likes to kick start things n then disappear :P doc J is a fun guy n maintains balance in the gang by being talkative n is vry interesting to listen to .. btw, frm now on, u r my route map for gud Eat-outs in singapore .. :) i was vry touched whn on the last day bfr i left, he came to me n said i was like a younger sis to him .. thanks doc :) that was vry nice of ya .. really ..

then thr was Pilot (@ sushanth) .. pilot seems, on the front, a quiet n soft guy .. but as u get to know him, u realize that he's jus the opposite .. he's tough, adventourous n fun-loving n a very very caring guy .. n he seemed to ve impressed everyone in the gang, some more and some others, more so :P and his tales frm his army days r a treasure .. njoyed that day's breakfast-time tales Pilot .. a lot .. :) wud luv to listen to more , all of us wud ..

Vishravars .. first thing bot him anyone would notice is his name .. he's as unique as his name .. he has a lot of talents .. havin never been a scholarly, outstanding student myself, vish is like the enemy guy everyone wud show as example to folks like me .. ha ha .. he's a nice chap awrite, once u get to know him though .. soft n quiet , not jus on the front but actually is .. has a gud sense of humour too, that me n harsh discovered on the journey back to manali .. poor Vish though, his Tale of Woes in this trek wre never ending .. hope ur leg has healed Vish !!

And Sam .. wat do i say about u sam?? sam was the guy with all branded stuff in our gang :P all 'Foreeeen' brands .. smiles all the time .. half the time, u dnt know if he's thr .. that quiet he is .. n he was one of the better trekkers in our gang, alwayz s'wre in the front of the chain .. btw, Sam, i need to return cash i borrowed frm u for Alu Tikki in Manali :P i remember the gifts i owe u too ..

next was Marie .. i just cannot stop admiring the lady .. she can gel wel in any group and with anyone, under any circumstances .. n u dnt need to ask her for help, whn in need, she'll b rite thr by ur side .. n she was , without second thoughts, the best trekker in our group .. n also, the most travelled .. 'm jealous of u Marie :)

and then Sara .. the other person i admired a lot, though not for the trekkin this time (even though shez among the better trekkers) but for the gr8 job shez doin .. gr8 goin Sara !! three cheerz !! n i hope u get to c all ur frenz this time whn u go home .. and get to spend quality time with ur family too .. keep me posted bot it all after ur return :)

n then there was Mohan .. this guy has a gr8 sense of humour .. i think i had the least number of conversations with mohan outta the 14 .. :P he was alwayz trekking either in the front or he was the last .. lol .. n he was a sport, ever ready for fun .. maybe v'll get to converse mre in the next trek mohan :)

and the last member who joined the gang in manali was our Gikki .. to tel bot gikki, i wud need to write a book, not a paragraph in a blog .. 'm amazed at her levels of energy .. i was literally dragging myself (with Pilot saying he can see the tent with my every two steps + a stop, God knows , if t'was his figment of imagination or he was as exhausted as us n was hallucinating) on the day of crossing the Hamptah pass .. that too in day lite .. and this lady crosses the Pass in the dark and says shez not even cold .. i hear her rapidly talkin away in her usual decibels whn she arrived and i was hunched half dead nxt to the stove in the kitchen tent, too weak to breathe properly .. wat determination n energy n wat a voice !! btw, Gikki, trust me, loads of ppl wre praying for ur safe arrival at the camp that day n breathed in relief only after hearing ur voice !!

so that was bot the gang .. WAIT .. n then there was me :P .. ahh .. not much to tel bot me .. except that maybe i ditched my backpack halfway to the mules and watched on as everyone trudged along with the load on their backs .. n bfr 'the baniyan boy' pounces in to let knw the world like he did in FB that inspite of not carrying the load, i still ended up spraining my leg .. otherwise, not much to tel i guess .. i was happy .. vry happy .. n had an awesome time with all these wonderful ppl .. amen !!

so thats bot Part-1 .. 'll try to post a part-2 with the trek details s'time soon ..

the chair affair ..

2010-04-18T01:27:00.000+08:00

my chair in office is very special .. as in, v r very attracted to each other, me and the chair i mean .. for a lot of our own very gud reasons .. bfr i launch into the indepths of those xtremely justifiable reasons, i must tel u bot my chair and how v got acquainted ...

so, we shifted to this new office building one n half months back and on the first day in the new office, i was late .. one of the last to arrive .. n much to my righteous indignation, everyone had a chair but moi (no !! i wont tel u which company i work for) .. and so urs truly's first job on the first day in the new office was, Chair hunting .. i know .. so i went arnd the 31st floor, ignoring the awesome view it offered of the lovely city outside with iron determination, looking for unsuspicious victims whose chair i can steal .. as u mite expect on such sad occasions, there wre none .. so i ended up finding an orphaned chair in a dark desolute corner , lookin as miserable as i felt .. now, if u want me to get into specifics on the looks n likes of this orphan, wel, i must tel u first off that the poor chair was no looker .. the fact that it was ditched by everyone other than me n that too only caz i ddint ve any other choice, did nothing to improve itz mental n physical state .. when u blotch a white chalk with Royal blue Chelpark ink (ahh .. i miss those Chelpark days !!) and then dip the same chalk in water for a while n dry it in the open top floor/terrace of ur apartment at noon for like 3 or 4 hrs, u get a weird faded blue color ... wel, the chair was in exactly that color .. brought back so many nostalgic memories ...

so the moment i saw it thr, all lonely n lost, i knew this was it .. t'was like the chair was jus waiting for me to find it .. find it, i did !! hah !! Victory !!so i drag my find all the way from one end of the floor to the other end, ignoring all the smirks n sympathy from ppl all over .. i didnt realize the exact reason for the smirks until s'one pointed out to me that i got my mate in the chair .. t'was as noisy as me !!! now THAT touched a nerve and i resolved to break a few bits off that guy's chair that nite after everyone has left for the day .. which wudnt b impossible given the fact that 'm generally one of the last to leave office (no .. dnt even get me started on it .. 'm not ready to talk bot my team or my proj .. no .. dnt!! somethings r better left alone .. 'm warning u !!) .. and i tel u i ve not the slightest clue bot how the guy's chair mysteriously started shedding screws n bolts until one day it jus breathed itz last .. (hey u !! dnt look at me like that .. i had nothing - NOTHING - to do with it)

so comin back to my chair .. my faded chelpark royal blue chair became my identity in office .. it stood out from the rest of the boring bright n new furniture .. no one wanted my chair .. i had it all to myself .. infact when i say no one wanted it, i mean NO ONE wanted .. there was this guy who once came to meet the guy who sits nxt to me .. n i was standing some feet away , busy in a cal .. and this guy took one look at my chair n said he preferred to stand, when offered my chair !!! The nerve !! *indignant look*!!

wel .. 'm tired now .. so tataa to y'all .. God bless me n my chair !!

Ma ...

2010-04-18T01:15:00.001+08:00

i stand there, looking at the plane take off ... i wonder if u are thinking of me .. because i am .. thinkin of u, that is ... of us .. of what could have been .. of wht is .. i shake myself out of the reverie to discover 'm the only one standing in the Departures lounge and wonder how long i was lost to the world .. i slowly turn around and not wanting to go back to the empty house, decide to catch up with someone .. anyone .. i look thro my Contacts and not finding anyone i feel like meeting, decide to go grab a coffee some place nywayz .. i hire a cab and blurt out to the driver - "****, **** Please" .. and then realize i jus gave him my office address ..

i walk into the office to find it empty .. saturday evening .. what did i expect .. 'm blessed with a seat next to the window in the 31st floor with an absolutely awesome view of the busiest and richest part of the city ... i pull my chair closer to the window .. the coffee was soothing .. the same vending machine coffee i usually scorned .. i look at the city below.. into the nite .. into my life ..

i traced a single bright blue spec out of the millions of tiny specs of numerous colors lighting up the city's nite life .. the blue was all i could see .. then that faded too and it was nothingness ..

the shrill ring of a phone somewre in the floor brought me back to reality .. i looked at the time .. it was five past two .. i must be going home .. but i didnt want to .. i sat there , millions of thoughts running thro my head, nothing registering ..

i was lost .. there i was, one minute, at the highest cliff of happiness .. n the next, s'one gives me a painful kick in the butt and i start falling into the tumults of water crashing into the sharp rocks below .. the cliff, the gushing waves with their milk white froth, the sharp rocks, the soft eroded corners of the cliff's visible bottom, the slight drizzle in the soft sun with the lovely bright rainbow .... looks gud as long as you are on the top of the cliff .. not when u tumult ur way to envelope them .. that is a new story all together .. the silly mind doesnt think of all this when it takes the risk of goin out to the very edge ..

it is a giddy feeling to look at the busy streets of a posh city from such a height .. does He feel this way, watching over his creations, i wonder .. he should soon be bored .. i was .. i turned back to my monitor ... typed a mail to s'one that i didnt send .. i was tired .. physically .. mentally .. i shut down the machine and got up .. i looked at the dark lonely cubicles .. only mine was lit .. i put off the lights and stepped onto the elevator .. the security guy smiled .. i waved at him absently and walked towards the train station .. i looked at the slowly fading moon and searched for the rising sun .. it was not dark anymre though the sun wasnt out .. i looked at the streets decorated colourfully for some festival that was still a month and half away .. wondered y i couldnt feel the happiness in the air .. no , i dnt have any regrets .. i jus have questions .. and a lot of hurt ; a heavy aching heart .. and no, 'm not crying .. 'm done with THAT atleast .. and hre, i stop .. Amen !!

the li'l devil ..

2010-04-18T01:04:00.001+08:00

there was this kid i met in a bday party i recently went to .. i ve seen kids who cry all the time or wudnt let anyone other than the mom/dad hold him/her or wud jus stare at u like you are Cruella Deville and give nasty looks whenever the parent is not looking n smile sweetly when the parent does .. but then 'm digressing .. so there was this kid who was giving me smiles from her mom's lap .. encouraged, i put formward my hands to lift her frm the mom's lap .. mom gives this grateful smile .. n the kid doesnt resist .. so i assumed the kid wanted to be held .. i was jus a teeny min early in the assumption caz the whole room was suddenly silenced by the screaming kid ... hastily i dump the kid back in mom's lap n Boy !! did i jus hear a pin drop??!!! y allow me to lift her in the first place?? n then bring the house down crying bloddy mudder?!!! *sigh* .. kids r weird .. and scheming !! and i wnt b offended if u arent surprised when i tel u, i was the first person to take leave frm the hosts that day ..

Farewell n May God Bless ..

2010-04-18T01:01:00.000+08:00

standing in my kitchen, lookin at the dark house in the 10th floor of the building parallel to mine, i was reminded of that nite long long ago .. i had come home feelin all depressed n lonely after a tough day at work n decided to ve some steaming filter coffee- indian style (which is one thing that has never failed to raise up spirits till date) .. i stood at the window lookin into void with the coffee spreading a feel-gud aroma all arnd me .. it musta been arnd 2 AM and as is normal, not one house in the vicinity had a light on .. t'was all peace n quiet ..

suddenly, the darkness was shattered by bright light from across the building n there she was, standing in her kitchen, one very sweet old lady (proper short n round like gran) .. after that day, i started noticing that she was arnd most nights in my timings (which my mom alwayz describes in one word - Crazy :P) .. it became a habit then on .. the moment i enter the house, i check if therez a light on in her kitchen .. it meant the world to me .. if her kitchen was dark, i felt deserted .. n i wait for her, like a puppy waiting for his master whoz at school .. she felt like family .. she helped me drive away the lonliness of the big house ..

i ve never seen her anywre other than that kitchen .. i wudnt b able to recognize her if she stood rite in front of me , caz our buildings had quite some distance between 'em and my eyez arent all that sharp (blame it on age) .. but she was like the gaurdian angel that i was so dependent on , to drive away all my home sickness n loneliness .. and she has never let me down .. until , today, that is ..

she has moved out .. dunno wre she shifted to or if the family thatz gonna shift in nxt to that house will have a nice granny char like her ... n 'm sure she wud never knw that i miss her .. she made a big difference to my days n 'm eternally grateful to her for being thr, in her own way .. miss u granny !! may God bless you ..

my old fren ..

2008-03-20T15:39:00.000+08:00

so there she was .. sitting in the street corner, rite outside my school gates .. i musta been in my first grade when i first saw her .. she looked a li'l scary to me, at that age .. now i know better than to go by looks .. but then, i was jus a kid and first impressions were the looks .. and i was a bit intimidated by her appearance .. so i hadnt approached her for a long time ..
one fine day, i mustered enough courage and staggered on to the place she was sitting .. she looked up at me and asked wat i wanted .. i ddint answer .. i focussed my range of view on the big round earrings she wore ... she asked me again wat i wanted .. i opened my mouth to say s'thing but couldnt think of anything to say and closed my mouth .. she turned the attention to some other customer and that gave me a chance to look close at her .. she had shrivelled skin .. coffee brown .. large hands with metal bangles .. small ears with large round earrings .. and small green eyes ..her eyes !! .. the source of attraction for me .. those green eyes had a kind of strange sadness about them, giving her on the whole, a meloncholy look ..
the customer had left and now i was the only one near her cot , wre she sold an array of odds n ends .. she turned her attention once again to me .. i hurriedly looked down at my feet .. dont know wat she thought , she kept quiet .. i remained lookin at my feet for a few seconds .. one min .. two .. a few min .. then, not hearing any sound, i slowly looked up, half expecting her to ve packed up n left for the day .. she was lookin at me kindly with a half smile playing on her lips .. dunno y, but i was reminded of gran ... i ran away from there with tears in my eyes , on being reminded of gran ..i missed her so ...
i didnt go near her cot for a few days again .. but as fate goes, i was forced to go to her cot again .. mom was late that day and the school gates wre closed by 6 .. it started raining and not knowing wre else to go, i went and stood near her cot , which was protected by the shelter of the big banyan tree .. she recognized me and smiled .. i slowly smiled back and looked about me .. there was jus the two of us .. she didnt talk .. i didnt either .. each wre lost in her own thoughts .. it stopped raining and it started gettin darker .. i realized t'was past her closing time .. but she didnt seem to b in any hurry to pack up .. suddnely, she said "u remind me of my grandson" ... tears glistened in her eyes .. i kept quiet, as that was the best i could manage to do .. mom came .. and i climbed into the front seat .. she was closing shop when i peeped outta the car while mom reveresed.. she waved .. i didnt wave back ..
i waited for mom the next day also, standin near the old lady's cot .. she gave me a toffee from her spread on the cot .. i refused .. i left when mom came, but i waved back to her ..
this became a routine .. v never talked much, but v felt each other's presence like the closest of buddies .. she alwayz had a smile for me when i went and a wave for me when i left, with that wistful look in her eyes ..
then dad got transferred .. and i had to go with him .. i told my old fren that i was leavin and 'll not come from the next day .. she jus looked .. and nodded .. when i was leavin , i saw tears sparkling in her eyes .. she pressed her hands into mine and when she withdrew 'em, i saw a small stone carving .. s'one had done an amateur job of carving a li'l kid .. i dont know y, but i started crying too .. mom asked wat was wrong .. i ddint tel anything ..
i started school in the new city .. but i coudlnt help missing the old lady who had become a close fren ... i felt withdrawn and mom n dad assumed t'was caz i missed my old school .. but i missed the old lady and the comradeship v shared ..
after many many yrs, i still had the same feeling for the old lady .. when dad got transferred back to the old city again, i was more than ecstatic bot it .. i ran to school , as soon as v shifted in.. but much to my dismay, the tree that sheltered the cot was no longer there .. so was the cot - missing .. in itz place, there was a rusted board saying 'govt property' and the place was strewn with garbage .. i recalled the tree, the clean clearing under it wre the cot stood .. and the old lady sitting in a low stool rite next to the cot .. with her sad, green eyes which never failed to brighten up when they saw me .. i remembered her teary eyes lookin at me on the day i left .. i felt a pain stab in my heart .. i jus blinked away tears and went back home .. back to being the boy who longed to see his long lost fren once again .. knowing , it wud never happen !!!

The Decision ...

2007-07-05T19:33:00.000+08:00

He opened his book .. with the resolve to complete atleast one chapter .. but he couldn’t manage even a line , forget a chapter .. he was too worried and tensed , for him to be able to concentrate ... people do make mistakes, he tried comforting himself ... 'but not such a big mistake .. mistakes!! .. so many !! ' - his conscience mocked .. he was far too into it for him to be able to come out of it now .. he tried telling himself he'll stop .. tomorrow .. it was alwayz tomorrow .. but tomorrow never has dawned yet .. not for him ... he thought of mama ... mama would b deeply hurt .. she would cry and throw a tantrum if she ever found out .. papa was different though ... he would calmly take the news and then disown him as if he were discarding a waste paper ... that was papa for u ...
he couldn’t remember how and when he started ... probably his dad was to be blamed too .. if he had not been as strict as he was ... if he had been more open and warm to him .. if he had told it in words and actions that he loved him .. if only papa had told him once ..
mama was the opposite ... all she really cared bot was whether he and papa were fed wel .. her world was the kitchen ... like papa's was his study or the college wre he taught in the other end of the city ...
papa hated drug addicts ... so, that much was clear - he would hate him the moment he hears about it .... he split open the hem of his cotton shirt and out spilled a few packets of ketamine and cocaine .. enough for a week .. his hands played with it while his mind was racing .. was this the right decision?? will it hurt papa and mama too much?? would him being around reminding them hurt more?? the conflict in his head was giving him a head ache ... when he could no longer put up with the pain, he tore open a packet and started rolling out all of it ..
his mom would know when she peeped into his room later in the nite that her son was sleeping peacefully ..but she wouldn’t know it was also an eternal sleep ..

The Wait ...

2007-07-04T12:38:00.000+08:00

She was waiting .. for him ... for the electric train to enter the station ... for him to peek outside from the train searching for her ... she knew he 'll .. he alwayz did .. she didnt know why she was doing this .. she has never spoken to him .. not once .. but she knew he would search for her and she didnt wanna disappoint him ... she stood there patiently .. she did not mind the crowd shoving her this side and that .. she did not mind the combined smell of the ditch, dirt, coffee, hot bajjis, sweat and wat not .. she just stood there oblivious to everything and everyone , lost in her thoughts ... of him ..

He rushed from his cabin after sending his status mail in a hurry .. he was not sure if he had sent the mail to the rite mail id .. but he was not worried about that .. he would take care of that tomorrow .. rite now all he can think about was that he mustn't miss the electric train .. the station was a short run from office and he sprinted towards it navigating through the mass of people walking, cycling or jus standing ... he nearly tripped over a street dog and dropped his file and papers scattered on the pavement .. he hurriedly clutched at the loose sheets and stuffed 'em back into the file while still moving towards the station ... he saw with a sinking feeling the long queue at the ticket counter .. he decided it wouldn’t be possible to get the tickets and still be in time for the train .. he kept moving towards his platform and by the time he reached, his train had started to move .. he quickened his pace and hurled himself into the train pushing people out of his way .. the train was already packed and he barely managed to get some foot hold ... he was hanging half outside and some one took pity on him and made a li'l standing space ... thanking his stars, he impatiently drummed his fingers on his file waiting for the train to reach his destination ...

She finally saw him .... and he saw her too .. the train came to a halt and he was pushed on to the platform by co-passengers .. they looked and then each went his/her way ... waiting for the next day ...

2007-02-16T13:13:00.000+08:00

There was some story contest in our company and i decided to send in a story too .. the topics was given to us and i chose the below one :) .. and the lines in BOLD wre also given along with the topic (there wre 3 topics with 3 BOLD lines each) .. and in case u wre wondering if i won, naaa ... :) the story got selected for the top 25 entries .. but i didnt win a prize .. so, guess thats enough .. now for the story ...

My Tryst with Destiny.
----------------------------------

"Papa don’t preach"
But he did not seem to hear me.
"This is not the first time I have got this complaint. And he's not the first person to say so either. This must be the last time 'm to hear such things from anyone. One more complaint and I am taking away your vehicle forever... blah blah blah" – he went on.
"Confiscating the vehicle will not mean i can’t manage to borrow someone else’s or smuggle my own" – I, usually when in my most-rebellious mood, feel like screaming at Papa. But i knew when i needed to keep my big mouth shut. So I just stared at my painting hanging on the wall above the fireplace which Mama had loved so much that she hung it there in spite of my bro's threats that he won’t enter the hall if the painting is hung. The reason he hated it so much was, i actually had tried to capture him and my puppy playing in the garden but it turned out to be something better than them both.

Back in my room, i tossed my bag on my bed and climbed on my favorite spot, the broad window sill. I had been driving fast and one of my father’s friends happened to see me just then and called up Papa about it. And that was the reason for all the preaching by Papa.
"Anoooooooooooooooooo .... Cal for yaaaaaaa" – my brother Vicky
"Yeah cominggggggggggggg ..."
It was Nikki – Nikita – my doctor sis. She wanted me to pick her up at the hospital. I grabbed the library books that i had to return, pulled on my jersey and hunted down my vehicle keys. It was raining and I raced through the street before papa got to the window and saw me speeding away.

Raindrops kept falling on my head
as I stood waiting for Nikki. She was attending to a kid who had fallen down the stairs and broken his leg. Nikki was such an adorable person and standing there in the corridor with raindrops falling on me, i felt so grateful that she was my sis. She saw me looking at her adoringly and smiled and I waved back. I walked up to her room and told her i would return the books and be back before she was done with the kid and left her to care for her little patient.
As I drove to the library thinking of her and Vicky and Papa, I suddenly felt guilty for being the black sheep of the family and slowed down. I decided to drive in a reasonable speed and having made that decision, i felt good inside. It was then, when i was filled with all reformation thoughts and happy days that lay ahead ,flashing thro my mind in a slide show, that i felt sudden sharp pain course thro my body. I heard screeches of brakes and voices cursing the drunk who crashed into my bike. Someone explained to the crowd that had gathered that t'was a drunken lorry driver who had crashed into a kid’s bike. Papa's voice sounded far away admonishing me about driving fast. I wanted to tel him 'i didn’t drive fast Papa’. But I lost consciousness.
When i woke up, I saw Nikki, tears streaming down her cheeks. I wanted to ask her a lot of questions ...questions like, did papa know bot the accident and did he know it was not my mistake or that i was driving slow like he told and that I had vowed never to drive fast or .. .. .. I saw everyone crying. I felt someone tugging at my sleeves. But I wanted to see Papa , talk to him.

And at last I saw him with tears in his eyes... I have never seen Papa cry, not even when Mama passed away. I wanted to hug him and comfort him and wipe away his tears .. I wanted to thank him for all the sacrifices he had done for our sakes. I wanted him to know that t’was not my mistake and lot more…. I wanted to be sure he was not angry with me. Suddenly I heard papa telling someone that he knew his daughter was not at fault. A huge burden lifted off my heart when I heard that and my heart felt light. And now I didn’t mind the angel - who had been tugging at my sleeves - Leading me to the stairway to heaven.

2007-01-25T16:59:00.000+08:00

i luv walkin in the rain ...
luv it more when my mom chides me for that when i go home !!!

i luv soap bubbles ..
luv it more when i blow it for kids who jump with joy and try to catch it in their li'l hands!!!

i luv babies ..
luv 'em more when they reciprocate the luv ;) !!!

i luv cricket ..
luv it more if itz those high school kids 'm playing with, at our street corner ..

i luv cooking ..
luv it more when they relish devouring it!!!

i luv the rainbow ...
luv it more when itz not in my desktop or a fwd but for real !!!

i luv jeans ..
luv it more if itz really old, faded and worn out !!!

i luv weekends ...
luv it more when itz a gud looonnnggg weekend!!!

i luv my wallet ..
luv it all the more if itz heavy with cash !!!

i luv chocolates ..
luv it more for the smile it brings when i share it with ppl !!

i luv driving ..
luv it more if itz a drive in my Robbie in a long-smooth-free road!!!

i luv badminton ..
luv it more when itz me whoz winning :P !!!

i luv coffee ...
luv it more with a interesting book on a rainy day!!!

i luv fresh morning air ..
luv it more if itz a day when i stay up (reading a book thro the nite , in my terrace) to see the sun rising !!!

i luv evening breeze ..
luv it caz it means 'm not stuck in AC / indoors / office that day :P!!

i luv lollipops ..
luv it caz it brings back too many fond memories .. of sharing a single lollipop among five of us or fighting for it with the donkey i grew up with or for the simple fact that i didnt ve much money those days, so still knew how much two rupees meant!!

So, u must b wondering wat ‘m trying to drive at … nothing … itz jus a random post .. been ages since I posted and didn’t know wat to post .. stumbled across a word doc in my really ‘vetti’ folders in my desktop and this was in it .. so ctrl-c-ctrl-v’d it … :))) now , c’mon don’t scold … I luv y’all too ;)

2006-11-17T17:51:00.000+08:00

After the rains, the 40 min travel to office has hiked up to 1.30 hours travel much to the chagrin of all of us .. there wre days when i used to njoy the travel hours .. but when the deliverables are in the peak and u s'times r forced to work late and weekends, then u stop njoy'n these hours ... esp. in the mornings ...all that is in the top of ur minds is that u need to reach as soon as possible ....
today being one such day, i was impatiently sitting in the usual last seat ( my stop being one of the last ones, the bus is alwayz full by the time i board and thankfully, at least i manage to get a window seat even if its the last seat) ... t'was already quarter to nine .. the bus was wading (yup!!! the roads r flooded with rain water knee deep at places) thro a particularly horrid stretch of road and i was barely managing to keep my head from hitting the roof of the bus and the seat in front of me .. when i saw a kid and his dad .. they wre trying to walk on the footpath which was flooded .. s'one had put sacks of hardened cement and big rocks so ppl can hop on 'em and avoid getting wet ... the kid was hopping on the stones when suddenly he lost his balance and fell into the puddle of water ...
Everyone nearby cast worried glances at the kid until they saw his soaking head emerge with a big grin.. t'was their turn to smile at the happy kid ... the dad then lifted the kid on his shoulders and they crossed the flooded stretch both smiling from ear to ear ... the kid at one point let go of his Hawaii chappals and the dad had to fetch it for him .. and he did that without getting angry with the kid ... t'was a pleasant sight after seeing ppl alwayz irritated with the after effects of rain .. and rightfully too .. the rains had made Chennai all the more dirty than wat t'was b4 ....
it made me forget my immediate worry of reaching early to work and i , like many in that area, njoy'd the moment ...
but then like all gud things come to an end .... this gud feeling too lasted only until i saw the father and kid enter the wine shop !!!

Ninety seconds at a traffic signal !!!

2006-11-07T21:00:00.000+08:00

CRASHHHH.. .. screeechhhh ... crunch .. runch rrrrunch!!!!!! .. i turned around to c wat the commotion was all bot , though t'was not hard to guess wat wud ve happened .. a bike had crashed into a car that had braked suddenly caz of the red signal ..

The traffic signal in the venkatnarayana road has alwayz (from the day i ve been in Chennai) been this way .... the signal turns red in 30 seconds and not many vehicles can make it in that 30 seconds ...... so obviously some try to drive even after the signal turns red and create a big head ache for the traffic police .. and some other unsuspecting new-ones-to-that-area end up braking in the last minute .. and the above incident is wat happens ...

the car owner was yelling at the biker and the biker was defending himself ... everyone else - which includes me too- wre jus being audience to the scene .. the traffic police who was on the other side of the road was looking in our direction - unable to cross the road as vehicles wre zooming past in the other direction and not knowin wat to do ..

A poor woman with a few months ol’ baby was begging for money from all the ppl waiting for the signal to change to green … many cycle-walas wre busy lifting their cycles and putting ‘em on the footpath and makin their way to the front of the waiting crowd of vehicles .. and in the process making it tougher for the ppl who wre walking on the footpath ….

A dog appeared outta no wre – actually, from the side entrance of a wine shop which was, sadly , doin a very gud business even though t’was jus six thirty in the evening .. I jus looked at the dog weaving thro the maze of vehicles and it went on to the ‘kaiyendhi bhavan’ (road side food shop) and wagged itz tail sweetly to the owner of the shop … he gave him s’thing to eat and the dog licked his legs and settled down to ve his dinner …

The sound of s’one tapping on the glass window of the car in front of me diverted my attention form the dog … t’was the lady with the kid askin the car owner for some money … my mobile seemed to scream rite at the moment .. t’was a fren scolding for not returning her cal .. “very sorry re .. outgoin is barred as I ven;t paid my bill .. ‘ll cal ya once it gets activated .. “ - that was me …. And suddenly I was guilt stricken .. here I was paying a phone bill of 1500 bucks or more a month and there wre ppl who wre begging for fives on the road … I hunted in my jean pocket for some change and unsuccessful, got down from my Robbie and took out my wallet from the box under my seat … took out a five rupee coin in my hurry and gave it to the lady and the signal had turned to green by then …. Ppl behind me started horning as I was blockin their way and I was still tryin to get my keys clumsily in itz place .. everyone started givin me this u-clumsy-brainless-female-blocking-our-way look …… but there was this ol’ man in a cycle who waited patiently and gave me this take-it-easy-itz-part-of-life smile which relaxed me a bit and then I was on my way after the 90 seconds wait in the signal …

Initially when I drove in Chennai, I used to curse these long waits in the signals but nowadays I don’t .. however much of a hurry ‘m in, this one and half min wait in the signal makes my nerves relax .. gives me a chance to look at ppl other than me, my family and my frenz .. makes me realize how much I have taken for granted in life … and also, I get to c ppl with so many different mannerisms and characters …and helps me acquire patience .. :P .. itz a fascinating and educating experience altogether .. :))))
cheerz, anu :)

frenz!!!!!

2006-10-13T20:27:00.001+08:00

.. Was reading a frenz blog .. he had posted bot "life without frenz is hell" .. suddenly i remembered s'thing i had read way back ..
there was this malayalam song s'one has translated and posted in some article ..
this is how it goes ..

'Sea gulls and sea waves met
Sea gulls flew away
Sea waves went back
So too have we met, so too shall we part'

s'thing bot the song impressed me .. probably the truth in it or maybe, itz jus too gud .. i dunno .. but v meet so many ppl in our life and then v jus lose touch at some point as each goes on with his/her life and make new frenz .. only the close ones remain .. sad fact of life .. who told lifez fair !!!
like, at work, when u get into a new proj, v get a whole set of new teamies .. if itz a dev proj and fixed bid,then t'll b for six or seven months max ... v work together, laugh together, hang out in the cafeteria as a gang, help out each other, go out for treats and share lots of gud and bad moments in the proj span .. once that proj is over, all r put in different projs and each go in their own ways ... u cal often during the first few weeks, then the cals reduce .. u msg .. u mail .. u chat .. and then after a while, everyting stops except for the occasional mails or cals or b'day wishes ... all of us get caught in our daily lives ... so finally, all that are left are memories .. nostalgic .. neverthless, itz gonna b jus memories ..
when i finished school, i vowed to myself i'll stay in touch with everyone in my class ... now itz jus a handful of 'em that 'm in touch with, other than my best pals, that is .. the same story continued in college ... all of us promised to ourselves v'll mail everyday, cal once in a week and stuff like that .. now 'm not even sure how many of us r in touch .. thanks to our group mails and orkut, atleast v get to know when s'one gets married or goes abroad or shifts companies ... otherwise i dont think i wud ve had any news bot most of my classmates ... :)
the other day, went for my best pal's marriage .. and after roughly more than six and half yrs, all five of us (my gang in school) met together ... it felt toooo gud to b true .. after the marriage, the rest four of us visited school and met all our teachers .. t'was one of those best days of my life ... the proud happiness in our teacher's eyes when they heard v wre all working with top s/w firms, was s'thing which gave a whole new meaning to our lives ... t'was the best reward v could ve got ... and they too .. some of 'em had taught us when v wre in pre-school .. :)) v visited most of our ol' hang-outs, in the li'l (too li'l) time v had .. had tears in my eyes and more, in my heart when the time to depart came ...
such memories hold the whole meaning to our lives .... and frenz, are the biggest part of those memories ... :) hey pals out there .. tanx for being there .. and for fillin up some space - big or small - in my book of memories ... and these make me feel that i ve really lived my life and not jus passed it .. and makes my heart free of regrets ... :)))) and the fact that there are still more memories to be treasured sets me goin; makes me look forward to every tmw, each min infact ... live ur lives too ppl ... itz after all one life that v ve got ... :))) njoy .. freak out .. lifez not alwayz THAT unfair .. ;)

My One Day !!!!

2006-10-03T21:02:00.000+08:00

my mobile was screaming .. alarm ... i put it on snooze and went back to my candle light dinner with keanu reeves ;) .... was jus checkin out my dessert when my mobile brought me back to chennai again .... i searched for the noisy mobile under my pillow and finally found it and put it off ... yawning like i ven't slept for yrs , i walked into the hall and found it deserted ... peeped into the other rooms and found all my roomies snoring away to glory ... poor me ... cursed my fate and put on a kettle of water to boil for my coffee and went for a shower ... when i walked outta the bathroom i heard the television blaring "itz my life" ........ 'yeah rite' - told to myself and hunted for my worn out pair of jeans and black t-shirt ... the jean was really wrinkled.. hunted for my iron box still debating whether iron for my jean was a must or not that day .. finally, not findin the iron, i decided to wear the jean all wrinkled .. he he he .... after all , who'll b there in office on a weekend ... only characters like myself who come in equally pathetic state or the other extreme of ppl who dont know wat to do on weekends and so, work ... i jus dont understand such ppl .... chennai is a haven for entertainment and these ppl dont know wat to do on weekends ... funny ..
nywayz, so i increased the volume hoping that one of my roomies 'll wake up .. atleast to yell at me to reduce the volume .... but no luck .... Bon Jovi (one of my favs) finished his piece and Ronan Keating started singing 'life is a rollercoaster .. ' ... yeah rite ... hmmm ... unsuccessful in wakin any of 'em , and casting a wistful glance at my comfy blanket, i folded it and made my bed ...
after my morning prayer, finished off a steamin mug of coffee with the day's magazine accompanying Hindu ..... lo and behold .. i was ready for work ... banged the front door hopin ATLEAST this 'll wake up s'one ... stood outside the door for coupla min but since i couldn't hear any noise from inside, i climbed down the steps and found Robbie ever so dirty ..... so after cleanin as much as was possible without water and brush, me started to office ...
ouff ...... another day has started ... from now, mind wud forget all the gud things in life ... i wud become a typical young s/w proffessional ... one among the millions who think they r the kings and queens of the world caz they r s/w professionals ... and who ve all the worries of the world weighin on their shoulders ...
conscience started hammering me for not havin given Robbie for service ....musta done that three months back ... promising myself that i'll do it next week for sure, i put on speed ... zooming past the slow drivers, i was forced to stop by the red signal ... cursing, i waited impatiently for the green signal, and zooooooo.....oooommmmm ...mmmmm .... was at office in twenty eight minutes minutes ... patting myself for the record time, i swiped my card ... security head called after me to sign in the register ... they ve this stupid rule that if u work weekends, u ve to sign in a weekend log ... glanced inside the cafeteria .. deserted ... so no boost today ... cha ... climbed the stairs three at a time .. another series of swiping and signing to get onto my floor ... and floor was deserted .. second time today to get the same feelin of loneliness and the day has jus started ... found my place jus the way i had left it y'day nite ..so, not even the cleaning crew had showed up yet ... gr8 .. switched on the lights and switched on my machine ...
i worked the whole of the morning very sincerely but watever code i wrote, i ended up getting error page ... pissed off to the max, i went to the cafeteria for lunch ... nothing to brighten up my day there either .. weekends, food was the worst in our dear cafe ... bought myself a sandwich and found a quiet corner and settled down with a book ... aah .. now this is s'thing i luv .. swallowed my sandwich and washed it down with some orange juice ... back to fighting with the code .... there wre a handful of ppl by now .. for a weekend, that was normal though .. checked my mails and logged into gmail and orkut ... chatted side by side with a few frenz who wre like me stuck in office and continued getting my error pages until aki cald me reminding me of our movie plans ... oh shit... i had totally forgotten bot that ... I was totally at a loss as to wat I can tel her ….
I settled down to complete my work and b4 I realized t’was dark outside … I looked around … the floor was deserted save for the two guys in the far end …. I closed my burning eyes and massaged my aching neck slowly … my mind went back to the days my ma used to massage my hands and legs after my badminton practices … felt nostalgic bot those carefree days … I suddenly asked myself wat I was doin at office on a weekend .. is this wat I alwayz wanted to do in life?? Is this wat I want life to be like?? I wasn't sure … if I start putting down the pros and cons, t’was an unfinished battle that will never end … I sure wanted to tel when ppl asked me that I was with such-and-such MNC ..but I know that this wasn;t wat I wanted to become in life – a s/w engg … I wanted the pay but I didn’t want work during weekends … I realized that I did wat was expected of me … I became wat was expected of me …. But I ‘m not wat I wud ve wanted to be …. I suddenly decided these wre all unwanted thoughts which r not gonna help or comfort me any way … I packed up for the day and left office thinking bot the promise I broke …
When I reached home, t’was a lively atmosphere that greeted me … my roomies wre all sittin in front of the television and chatting … I was dragged into the gang the moment I opened the gate .. I felt home … v chatted for over an hour b4 s’one started to the feel the pangs of hunger … v decided to go out for dinner .. our usual weekend dinner haunt was this shop over the beach wre u sit on the pavement and eat … u don’t ve to dress up for this place or mind ur table etiquettes …u jus can u urself … and that’s the main reason v preferred the place .. so after hoggin on some parathas , v had kulfi ice creams for dessert in the beach … and headed back home pullin radhika’s legs mercilessly … dipti alwayz luv’d pullin rad’s legs and poor rad ended up bein the victim usually … I showered and then after some more chatting each headed back to their rooms .. I told my prayers and sank my head into the soft pillow ….. thought of ma, pa and vivi and gran … and closed my eyes peacefully hoping the nite ‘ll drag on a li’l longer and the next day must dawn a li’l late … one of the hundreds of typical days of my life had passed by ..

My Best Pal!!

2006-03-31T20:07:00.000+08:00

"Dont u dare touch it!!! " screamed Niteesh ... "u r such a stuck up spoil sport Nutty .. grow up!" -t'was me who gave that rude retort .. v wre all in the colony playground-cum-park and Niteesh was stopping us from touching a half dead butterfly lying on the cement bench .. he jus gave all of us - me, suraj, ria and ajju - a dirty glare and scooped the butterfly who by now was in her final stages of life and walked off with a huff ... v jus stared at his slowly disappearing back and started laughin .. and resumed our game ..
looking back today at that day, i couldnt help smiling at myself and also a li'l guilty, i admitted to myself sheepishly after all these years .. i used to cal him 'Nutty' .. :) and he hated that name .. we wre family frenz and also neighbours ... so, v practically grew up together ... v went to the same school - wre in the same class, infact - and to a college in the same city .. v used to fight a lot .. 'a lot' happens to be an understatement, in our case ... :) .. v wre more like family - Nutty (to me he'll alwayz be nutty :) .. ) and me .... and he was & is my best pal ... inspite of the fact that v alwazy fought ..
i looked around as i slowly moved into the almost broken down castle .. this was our haunt .. me, him and a whole load of others belonging to our gang .. v had so many memories - memories of numerous happy moments, fights, quarrels, misunderstandings, proposals, breakups , wat not ...... and to me and Nutty , t'was all the more memorable caz the day he left to the US and me to Germany (and then later on to Pune for work) each for our higher studies, v decided that v'll meet up on this particular day - today - in this same place ... t'was ten years back .. v never met in the intermediate period of our lives ..... i missed a big part of his life and he, mine .. but thro the years, v never once lost touch .. he still was my best fren and me, his .. he had his life and i had mine .. but v promised each other that v'll meet up - may be to relive the lost ten yrs , maybe .. or then , may be not ... v jus decided and so here i am ....... waiting for him and the others who also decided to show up ..
he hadn't made it yet .... t'was alwayz me who'll turn up atleast half an hour late to any kinda meetups or get togethers .. but today, i had come in an hour early caz i wanted to relive the old happy moments before the others come and commotion starts ..... nothing can equal reliving ur memories all alone .. lookin at each pillar , each brick brought back a memory that i cherish more than anything in my life .. there have been so many ppl in my life after that , but none like my best pal Nutty .....
also, another reason for this day to be special for me is that, this 'll be the last time i'll be coming here .. and i knew i ve to tel him this time , before itz too late ..
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'Fatso' - my best pal from the days when v wre toddlers to this day ..... she was a chubby kid with a cherubic face and cute dimples .. but then appearances can deceive like in her case caz shez the most naughty kid u can ever c .. such a prankster .. and our gang had a bunch of monkeys like her too .. :) .. and her college frenz or the frenz she made later on in life, all wre like her, a rowdy gang .. but inspite of all this, thro the years, shez been my best pal .. from whom i have never hid anything .. for whom, i 'll do anything .. from killing to dying .. :) ..
Fatso luvs pulling my legs .. and she njoys irritating me .. and me being the patient boy ever, she most of the times gets disappointed .. :P
and today, after a li'l more than ten years, 'm gonna meet my best pal ... she must be late as usual .. puntuality and Fatso never go hand in hand .. i was alwayz there to cover up for her .. poor Fatso musta suffered all these 10+ yrs with no one to cover up for her .. or may be she got herself a nice boy fren who does that for her nowadays .. she never mentioned one , but u can never cease to get surprised with Fatso .. She told me shez got s'thing to tel me .. so fat chance this mite be it .. :) ..
Nywayz, i must hurry up or she mite , for the first time in her life, beat me by reaching first ..
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"U r ten minutes late Nutty!" - i told with mock severity ... he looked at me up and down .. jus like that .. and blinked his eyes two three times , grinning all the while ....
"Fatso!! is that u????? my god, r my eyes deceiving me?? therez a gal in front of me but she says shez my Fatso .... wrez my tomboy Fatso?? "
I punched him hard on his shoulder and hugged my best fren for life .... "u ve grown up Fatso .. infact u look cute, if u dont mind my sayin so .. like a scarecrow!! :P "
that asked for some more slappings and punchings after which i looked him up .. he had changed too .. but then, ten years is not a short period of time na ... he had alwayz been a smart boy but all the more now .. he had creases on his forehead ... and he still looked skinny .. :)
"wat Nutty .. is ur wife bugging u a lot?? like me :P? u ve lines in ur forehead.. so howz Jeny??"
"oh that!! na .. my Jeny is a wonderful woman who doesn't trouble her hubby .. unlike u prankster .. so whoz life ve u put in jeopardy???"
"No one nutty .. jus mine .. as alwayz" - i winked at him ...
then a few of my old pals started walkin in and v sorta didnt get to talk again for a while ..
i looked over at him .. he was busy talkin to s'one .. i sat on a huge rock alone ...
i felt very nervous as i had to tel him today caz it had to be today or never .. and i owed him ..
"wassup monkey?? silence doesn't s'how suit u, does it?? so, watz nagging this li'l empty head of ur's??" ..
"Nutty ... I mite die soon u know .. "
"wat r u blabbering bot now??" ...
"itz Leukemia .. the doc gave me two months" ..
he jus stared at me like i wre already dead ... i felt sorry as i even told him .. but then, i felt that i owed him the truth and i didnt want some third person tellin my Nutty ..
"okie Fatso .. so lookin at u i thought u ve stopped playin pranks on ppl .. but u dont seem to ve eh?!! .. when r u gonna grow up moron?!" ..
"No nutty .. 'm serious .. "
"How?? wat happened? when??"
i looked at him .. he had tears in his eyes .. he cut a pathetic picture .. i felt very sorry for him ..
"APRIL FOOL" - i cried with much enthu ... "u thought i was speakin the truth Nutty??!! ha ha ha .. my dear april fool .. "
"u idiot .. dont u know when to stop?? u scared me for a few minutes .. u donkey" .. he ran after me and beat me royally .. :) .. then i went to his home for dinner as i was invited by his Jeny for dinner that day .. i met his newborn .. :) a really cute li'l gal child ..
I boarded the train ..mine was a window seat ... thank god caz i was in no mood for conversation .. not today .. i sat in my seat, leaned back and closed my eyes ...i had alwayz prided bot the fact that i never cried but today, tears flowed down freely .... my mind was travelling backwards .. why oh why .. life is so unfair .. or is it?? Probably .. i dont know anymore .. and i didnt care any more either ..
The train started moving .. I looked out at my best pal standing there .. he was waving .. I tried to smile at him but was not successful .. I jus looked at him until he was outta sight .. I leaned back in my seat and stared at the passing images .. I didnt ve the heart to tel him that he was not the april fool but t'was me .. and i didnt wanna think bot how much he'll be shattered after my two months r up .. the train picked up pace .. i got lost in my past .. "m sorry Nutty .. u'll alwayz be my best pal ..

The Chappal Hunt!

2006-03-24T21:05:00.000+08:00

Oooh .. those gud old days (nostalgic .. :( .. he he he) .. i used to wear rubber chappals when i was in my primary school .. and i missed wearing rubber chappals for while now .. used to use rubber chappals only as bathroom chappals .. until recently when i finally overcame any such feelings of shame for wearing 'em outside .. now i wear a faded jean, a pathetic t-shirt and darling RUBBER CHAPPALS and i dont mind goin out like that ..like a scarecrow .. even when i know everyone around me 'll b decently attired .. caz i finally have come to terms with the fact that i cant be Sush decently attired or not .. so, atleast let me relish my chinna chinna santhoshangal ... ;) .. so, here i am .. back to square one .. like my gud school days ..

u know wat .. during those days, i used to be soo proud of my BRAND NEW hawaii chappals that i used to get everytime i lose my old pair .. and i did that way too often .. 'll go to the park, play till it gets soo dark i cant c the swing or see-saw anymore and then head home realising only then how tired and famished i was - forgettin my chappals in some god-forsaken part of the park wre i wud ve tossed it earlier in my enthu for playing .. wud reach home and then realise 'crap .. forgot my chappals' .. my ma 'll give some royal thrashings and send me back to park to search for the lost property ... "Dont come back home without the chappals .. and is this pair lost too or u remember wre u left 'em?? " ... "i know ma .. itz there in the park only ..near the swings .. 'll get 'em in five min" ...
"LIAR" - conscince mocking ..
"will u be able to find???" - my gud concerned angel worried ..
i frantically search every patch of the park .. run over to every nook and corner ...and itz already half an hour since i left home sayin i'll b back in five min .. itz another half an hour before i successfully dig out one of the chappals from the sand at the bottom of the circus .. then search goes on even more frantically for another half an hour before i finally locate the other one ... then i head home patting on my back myself ... till i reach home that is .. after that, "look at the time .. u told me u knew wre u had left 'em .. then y the hell r u so late??? u r very very careless kanna .. BLAH ..BLAH .." ....... my bro wud be grinnin from ear to ear ... me will me longing to box his ears wel and gud ... then i'll take bath and settle down to do my home work .. me and my bro share a room .. so in a few min, v'll start one of our regular fighting sessions .. and t'll continue until one of my parents intervene and blast us both royally .. then silence until the clock nears 9.30 .. time for dinner .... he he he .. fight again for the remote ... "both of u , switch off the tv and go to the dining room and eat ... hereafter no eating in front of the television .. out both of u" ..
"unnala thaan da gunda"
"onnum illa .. unnala thaan .. cant u lay ur hands off the remote atleast for one day .. itz alwayz u who ve it" ..
"poda idiot"
"podi loosu"
....................
"enna satham inge???? eat without any racket .. any more sound from either of u, and u r in deep trouble"
"yes pa" - chorus .. silence ... finish eating and then study for a while or atleast thats wat v wre s'posed to do and thats wat my parents believe v wre doin till date .. but v'll ve a 'mouna sandai' with gestures and glares enuf to melt a mountain of iron if there ver was one .. then itz bed time folks ...
oooooh .. i miss those fighting sessions and the scolding sessions .. and the chappal losings also ... (devlish grin again) .. :D .. now i ve four five pairs alwayz but no one to scold me if i lose 'em .. if at all i get to lose 'em that is ... :) .. but i never luv these pairs of sandals like i luv'd my rubber chappals .. he he he .. they r the best - ever .. :P

That Train journey!! :)

2006-03-13T19:46:00.000+08:00

I was alwayz fascinated by train journeys .. especially by the ones that that our heroes or heroines go on in our movies ... and so i was alwayz aspiring to go on such journeys .. that was one reason for my dream to be a journalist .. they get to travel a lot na .. but then, as usual my parents had an entirely different idea .. :( ... nywayz, coming back to our topic, so i wanted to travel by train .. esp., on a long journey and not with my parents but by myself .. ;) .... but of course, i never got to go on such a loooong journey till date .. (and thank God for that!!! )
but in my school days, that was one of my biggest dreams ... :) .. and once i entered college, my parents let me travel the short three hour journey from salem to coimbatore (my native) by myself ... but i was a lot disappointed when i saw the trains .. our trains here r soooo filthy that it revolted me ... i felt very uncomfortable to be seated in those seats ... and the mosquitoes that accompany during the journeys are added kerosene to burning fire .. and the co-passengers wre no consolation either ..
after college, i landed up in a much-appreciated (no .. not by me .. but everyone other than me) software job ... and i was posted in Chennai much to my ecstacy ... i was praying that i wudn't be posted in some part of india which was not easily accessible from home .. thus, the saga of my train journeys started on a bigger note .. i missed home sooo much that i used to go home every weekend ... and my admiration for the train journeys detoriated ounce by ounce every time i made a trip home ..
nywayz .. when i think of all those toy bogies and engines that my parents bought for me and my bro when we wre kids, i feel gud inside inspite of the bitter experiences ... yeah .. thats exactly wat it is .. a bitter experience .. and whenever i think of train journeys, i never fail to remember that one journey during my first months of coming to Chennai ...
Office was declared a holiday for some festival and as is obvious, i was headed home ... a few of my collegues are also from coimbatore and so v wre travelling together .. t'was a long nite wat with all of us chatting and pulling each others legs ... v wre havin fun until one Thaatha from the next coach started cursing us ... he was not able to sleep b'coz of the sinlge light that was on and also b'coz of our laughter .. so we had no choice but to hit the sack .. t'was fine by everyone except me as all of us had a very gruelling time at office and wre tired to the bones .. but , alas, for poor me .. i never can sleep in the filthy, smelling berth .. i never sleep when 'm travelling ... so i sat up in the side lower berth and started lookin outside at the vague, dark, occasional images of fields and trees and stuff ... t'was starting to become sorta cold but if i close the windows, then the ever frenly mosquitoes wud decide to gimme company .. so, i decided that the cold was better company then the mosquitoes .. i was running a low fever and the cold made me feel worse .. throat started hurting soo much and i wanted very badly to drink s'thing hot .. i had promised my pals that i wudn't at any cost get down from our coach without one of the guys accompanying me .. so in the next station, i cald out a name or two of my pals who wre snoring away to glory .. but none stirred .. and train stops only for five minutes in that station and god knows how long t'll be b4 the next station .. so me the ever brave lady got hold of my wallet and went to the door of our coach ... there wre only a handful of ppl who got down in that stop .. i was jus lookin around not sure if i'll get down or not when i saw s'one get down from my next coach .. my curiosity kindled, i leaned forward and looked at the person and in the process dropped my wallet ..
and curse my luck, it fell in the gap between the train and the platform onto the tracks .. the gap was so narrow that i cant get down and get the wallet and my arms wre not long enuf to get it standing on the platform ... i jus stood there blinking like a moron .. all the bravado of the past few minutes had vanished and i stood there like a lost school kid unsure of wat to do ... and there wre jus two few precious minutes left for the train to take off again .....
thats when i heard a voice , "wassup?" ... i looked up to find the person whom i was straining to look at jus a min back ... he was a smart guy :P ... "Nothing"- i told him ..
he started laughing and asked "so u dropped ur wallet eh?!!" .. :-/ .. so if u knew, then wat the heck wre u asking me again for u smarty-pants .. "yeah .... " ...
"hold this " - he gave me his duffel bag .. i got it dutifully from him .. he removed his sneakers and socks and put his long leg between the narrow gap and took out my wallet expertly .. :-) .. i thanked him and he then asked me wat i was doing at that time near the door with my wallet .. i explained to him that i had a sore throat and wanted to drink s'thing hot to ease my poor throat ... he then went off and was back in a few sec with a steaming cup of coffee ... i was so grateful i jus took the cup from him forgetting to thank him ..the train started moving and only then did i realise i didnt know that guy at all .. i jus handed over his bag and extended my hand with a five rupee coin in it .. money for the coffee .. he didnt take it .. he jus smiled at me and told me to get inside and not drop it again .. and the train started gaining speed and he disappeared from my view ..
today, i dont even remember that guy's face .. if he stands rite in front of me, i wont recognize him .. but i still 'm very grateful to him .. he made my day that day .. :) thanx for some gud souls, i dont hate train journeys that much after all .. :P

Me the Eldest ...... :-|

2006-03-10T14:48:00.000+08:00

Wel .. if u think 'm gonna complain here bot growing older or s'thing, na .. 'm not .. i jus wanted to share some opinions .. okie ..not exactly .. i wanted some place to vent my feelings .. now 'm honest ..
and 'm not bothered bot growing old .. everyone does .. so thats okie .. :P.. but the point 'm really pissed off with is, throughout my life, i was alwayz cald the older one jus caz 'm the elder child... c'mon .. when 'll i ever be cald a kid then?????? at the max, i got this-"ELDER KID" .. :-/
"kanna .. u r the eldest .. u must only adjust .. give it to him" - my ma when me and my bro fought for a ball ...
"okie kanna .. all the best .. btw, take care of ur bro .. u r the eldest .. so must be responsible .. u r not a li'l kid" - my dad when me and him went for a inter school competition ...
"illa da .. u give in .. after all, he's a small kid na .. u 'll ve to adjust" - my gran when v both fought bot s'thing ..
... and this goes on everywre ..... not jus at home ...
when he gets caught after playing some prank at school , i'll be cald by his teacher ..
"Anu .. he's ur kid bro and u must only take care of him .. playing pranks in school is not gud ..young kids alwayz do this ... u only being the elder sis and a grown up kid, must advice ur brother" ... all i can do is -"okie miss .. sorry bot this time .. 'll make sure nothing of this sort is repeated again" ..
and if by chance, u get caught doin s'thing , then itz like - "wat nonsense is this?? is this the sorta behaviour v expected from a grownup child like u?? and being the elder kid, u must be a role model for the younger ones .. quite some model u r .. leading him in all the wrong ways .." ... as if , if not for me, he'll a gem of a kid ...... :- .. gimme a break okie ..
btw, 'm to set his example .. then, wre'z MY model person??? from whom ve i learnt all the pranks??? no one seems to think bot THAT .. itz alwayz "set a gud example for ur li'l bro" ... man!!! i had enuf of being the older one alwayz .. u'll b ten yrs old and ur younger sibling 'll b six or seven .. so u r not a kid but u r the OLDER CHILD ... the responsible one .. responsible , my foot .....
so thus went a major part of my childhood .. not that this was in any way a hindrance to me being the naughty one in school or college or even at work , for that matter ..... but still .. :- ..
After all this that i went thro in my life , at last i was this first year student in the electrical dept .... for a yr, i was one of the younger ones .. or so i thought ...until i heard bot the fact that our college also had a polytechnic in the campus ... :-/ .. curse my luck .. the students in Polytechnic, as u must be aware, ve finished only tenth grade while we, the first years ve completed our twelfth grade .. so, when any staff catches us making noise in the class, t'll be - "look at those polytech kids .. they r two yrs younger than y'all .. how disciplined they r .. y'all being older, must set them an ex.... .. ... .. " - okie .. u can guess the rest .... so my hopes wre snatched away in the first few days of college ....
okie .. so i was waiting for the four years to complete hoping atleast i can be a young TRAINEE in office.. :P .. and the D-day came too .. i was one among those hundreds of young trainees .. but there was this villian in the form of rules .... u r all young to the organisation but old enuf to know that rules are to be followed .. so v WRE old here too .. another term i happen to detest is "PROFESSIONALS" .. oh pllleeeaaazzzzeeee .. professionals , sure .. only to illustrate that u r OLD ENUF ... s'how i ven't found that term to be used for anything else till date ..
so, comin back to track, now i ve lost all hopes of ever being the KID and not the OLDER or ELDER or RESPONSIBLE kid .. but atleast , being the elder kid i had my own share of fun which the younger (!!) ones cant .... ;)
and i sorta fit the role - elder kid- as my bro says and so true to his words, today, my bro gets his monthly allowance from both me and my parents .. :-/ ...

"me the gr8"

2006-02-13T15:26:00.000+08:00

A few months back, I had gone home on leave ... taken some time off .. so i decided to travel down my memory lanes and visited my dear old school, the park i had played in as a kid, the nooks and corners of our colony wre me and my gang had had sooo much fun .. visiting the place u grew up sorta helps u relive ur childhood to some extent .. and thats exactly y i had taken the time off .. for this special reason .. and i was havin a very gud time .. i went to the class v had occupied in our eleventh grade and sat in the last row which v had occupied at that time .. t'was like i had gone back to those days ..
all those silly fights v had .. :) .. and the punishments v got .. the days v ate during the class ... the tests v copied and cleared ... and those oh-so-dull days when v jus lazed around not actually knowin wat to do .. if only i had a ---.. hmm .. no .. not starting it again ... :-/
nywayz, jus two days b4 i was comin back to chennai, i had gone to the grocery store to get s'thing for my mom and i was jus lookin at the place wre there had once been a temple .. and was staring at the now wasted land when i was shattered out of my reverie by a crashing sound .. i turned jus in time to c a kid nursing his bleeding hand while his bicycle lay on itz side .. it didnt take much intelligence to figure out that he had crashed into a big stone lying on the side of the road ..
and it didnt take up much time for me to realise that the kid had a Hero Ranger ... i immediately travelled back to my school days when i had a similar Hero Ranger .. Red color .. and it was one of those first models which had a straight handle-bar .. in those days, everyone wanted to drive my bike(okie.. okie .. cycle!! .. thought i'll give some build-up for my dear cycle) caz i was one of the very few who had that model .. and the fights me and my bro had over it .. my! my!!! .. too many .. during one of those fightin sessions, i was so pissed off with him that i jus stormed out of house but only after grabbing my compass from the geometry box .. i went down, engraved my name in the mud-guard and made sure t'was in the field of vision of anyone who merely glanced at my bike .. this led to yet another series of fights but thats a different story .. when i left school, my bro got bored of it and sold it without tellin me caz he knew my senti attachment to that cycle ..
lookin at the kid's cycle at that minute, all this passed thro my mind's eye .. the kid was still on the ground .. so i decided to help him and went over and straightened up the cycle .. and my eyes reflexively travelled to the mud-guard and to my amazement, i saw the name inscribed in it clear as if it wre recently done - "ANU the gr8" ... i briefly wondered if i was dreamin but knew otherwisewhen i heard the kid's voice .. "thanx akka" .. "np kiddo .. btw, is this ur cycle??" ..
"yes akka" ..
"wre did u buy it .. i mean, whom did u get it from??"
"appa bought it from that cycle stand over there .. s'one had sold it and appa told me i ve to wait for a few more years b4 he can get me a brand new bike.. so i agreed to get this second hand"
"oh kewl!! .. do u know whoz name this is??" - i pointed out the compass scribble ..
"oh that .. the cycle stand owner told me t'was done by the previous owner .. that stupid gal needn't ve done it right in that place , when she knew shez gonna sell it .. now the first thing ppl c bot the cycle is that .. all my frenz make fun of me when they c a gal's name in my cycle" ..
i jus smiled at him (though dont ask me wat i felt like inside ..) and told him "may be she didnt know she was gonna sell it ..she mite ve really luv'd her cycle .. but had to sell it at some point caz of some reasons .."
he seemed to ponder bot this for a min and then thanked me for helpin and went on his way ..
i was so engrossed in my thoughts on my way back home .. and i still was deep in thought when i entered the house .. that is, until my mom asked me -"kanna wre'z the flour??" ...
wat flour??!!!! oh jeez .. thats wat i went out to get and i retunred back without goin to the shop .. "ma .. i forgot to get it .. sorry" ..
she glared at me and gave me a 'u-gud-for-nothing-gal-i-knew-u'll-gimme-some-xcuse' look ... and didnt trust me again and so went to the shop herself .. ;) .. t'was a gud thing my bro sold out that cycle .. if he had left it in the garage , wat with both of us away from home, it wud ve rusted and wasted .. at least now therez some kid whoz happy caz of the cycle even though he must still be cursing 'me the gr8' for that inscription .. :P

???

2006-02-08T13:16:00.000+08:00

I got my corn flakes and was walkin towards an empty table in the far corner and grabbed today's Hindu on my way ... i came in late .. missed my bus by jus two min ... so went back home and watched TV for a while and went to the library and started from home by around ten when i was sure the morning traffic musta come down .. went for petrol for my Robbie (my handsome one yr old honda activa) .. and i was wrong bot the traffic caz t'was worse than usual and after much cursing and also receiving some for my share from co-bikers, i reached office totally exhausted .. and i looked like a scarecrow !! :-/ .. and was famished .. so here i was, in the cafeteria for breakfast .. as i was recollecting my skilled driving, and bot the unfortunate ones who didnt realise it yet :P .. when suddenly i tripped over s'thing hard and felt myself fallin .. fallin .. and still fallin .....
can't tel u exactly for how long i kept fallin down and down but finally i hit land .. hard and rough .. and it hurt .. and also the foot which hit the hard thing in the cafeteria .. hey , jus a min .. i was in cafe but wre am i NOW?? okie .. i 'm in total darkness so i dunno wre i am .. but it sure is eeire ... i ve alwayz read bot spooky places in story books and longed to be in one but today, i know better ... 'm i scared?? cha cha .. anu is a brave gal .. (mummy !!! wru???!! ) .. i probed my way around and banged into walls(??!! must be stone walls .. man it hurts) .. okie .. enough is enuogh .. 'm not playin this game anymore .. i sat down and started nursing my hurt leg .. which by now had stopped bleeding ..
suddenly there was a blindin light and i found myself staring at an open doorway in the far end of the long passage i was in .. and then, i gaped as a small figure walked out .. couldn't make out who t'was .. the person was approaching me .. he came closer and closer .. now i was able to make out that t'was a She and not He .. hey . t'was the kid who begged for money when i was waiting in the traffic signal today morning .. wat was she doin here?? or rather wat was i doin here??? and most importantly, wat place was this?? the place, even though eerie and cold, felt very familiar .. very familiar .. like i ve alwayz known this place .. like i knew my home .. but yet, i knew i ve never frequented it much .. ?????? ...
"Hellllooooooo??" .- i shouted .. but got no response .. the gal was jus a few feet away from me now .. and now i could also make out the long pole in her hand .. she was jabbing it at me .. oh no .. i realised the reason for her bein angry with me .. i didnt give her money but i felt that kids must not be encouraged to beg and thats y didnt give her .. "hey .. dont hurt me .. i didnt give caz of a reason" .. there was no change in her .. she was approaching me in the same slow and steady pace ..
suddenly, the gal changed into the shop guy i had shouted at yesterday .. he looked very angry and was cursing me and approachin me with wat looked like the same pole the gal had .. i blinked my eyes not sure if i was seein rite .. r my eyes playing games with me?? wre 'm i?? y r all these ppl here??
and then, before my wide open eyes, the guy vanished and in his place,i saw the gypsy lady and her two kids .. i see 'em everyday .. they had mounted their tent in a waste land on my way to work .. i usually peek out thro my window (when i travel by company bus) to c'em and the other gypsy neighbours of theirs .. they r an interesting group to me .. and then there was this blasted rain in Chennai which flooded their tents .. i was so unhappy and i used to stare at the empty , flooded tents .. then one fine day, they wre back .. and occupied their damp tents .. i musta helped 'em .. but all i did was tel my ma and my frenz bot 'em and how bad i felt for 'em .. now seein her and her kids advancing towards me, i felt guilty ..... and ashamed ...
by now, she was very near .. and then suddenly i saw so many ppl all around me .. the dobi(iron guy) i had scolded for bringin in my ironed clothes late .. my maid who had got scoldings from me for throwing away an important sheet of paper which i had left on top of the refrigerator ..the top house guy with whom i fought for he scratchced my Robbie while takin his stupid vehicle out .. and my bro with his favourite red bag which i brought here to chennai without him knowin .. and many others .. all advancing towards me and suddenly i knew wre i was .. my conscience .. didnt know my conscience had such a big space (didnt know it had a space , for that matter .. alwayz thought conscince was jus a voice).. with so many incidents in it .. probably accumulated over these twenty three yrs of my life .. and suddenly i felt a sharp pain in my head .. and felt all the ppl raising watever they had in their hands to hit me ...
"Maaaaaaaaaaaaa!! ammAAAa !! .... Noooooooooo ... dont hit me .. 'm soooo sorryyyy .. maaaaAAAAA" ...
"idiot wake up .. wat the hell is the prob with u" - my bro .. oh .. me at home .. had come y'day for the weekend ... "nothing da .. a bad dream" ... him -"oh .. for all the sins u ve done, there must b some sorta realisation ways .. gud that ur dream is takin care of that" ..how did he know?!!! .. "poda .. poi velaya paaru .. talkin like a grandma" ..

oui .. j'aussi!!

2006-02-03T15:04:00.000+08:00

She was sitting in her favourite spot .. the seat over the window in her room on which she had propped up two three pillows .. huggin her Kenny ( her teddy) .. he looked out of place near her for she's not the girly sorta person but wel .. u never can predict certain behaviours .. nywayz .. there she was .. lookin so very cozy and contented lookin at the rain (ahh .. rain again!!! b4 y'all start, i admit i luv rain .. precisely puttin it, 'm fascinated by rain).. with a mug of steaming coffee cupped in her hands .. and a book lay on her side .. looked like she was almost thro with it .. and she cut such a nice picture like that of a character in old novels ...

But looking at her more closely, she wasn't exactly njoy'n the rain like she usually does .. her mind was else wre ... there was that far away look which she rarely is seen with .. she looked like a lost and lonely kid .. searchin for her way in a thicket .. but not actually aware of wre she wanted to go ... in search of a path leading to no wre ...

She jus sat there doin nothing but starring out at the rain .. she sat there for hours .. until it stopped raining .. and it got darker and darker outside .. but there was no change in her gazin out deep in thought ..

Suddenly the silence was shattered by 'woh lamhe' from Zeher .. her mobile ringing tone .. the tone she reserved for her closest chums ... she jus looked at her mob lying nearby, not making any attempts of answering the cal .. she knew who t'was .. she jus gazed at it blankly .. it rang for ten min and then stopped .. in few seconds it rang again .. the person whoever t'was, tried calling five six times until he/she musta got tired of it .. the ringing stopped and the heavy silence returned save for the rythm of the rain splattering outside ... she went back to lookin at the rain ..

but there was this smile on her face now .. the far away , confused look was replaced by contentment and happiness .. no .. not ecstatic ... but the contentment that u get when some thing that was keepin u worried is no more a worry ... she drank her coffee at last which by now was cold .. but that didnt seem to worry her ... she seemed to njoy it all the same .. and took up her book and finished the few pages that wre left .. and then she made up her mind .. now, she had no doubts .. she was on sure and secure land again ..

'woh lamhe' ... yeah u guessed it .. the same person callin her .. this time she answered the cal .. she listened for a while .. she smiled and told "oui. j'aussi!!" .. (for those of y'all who dunno the meaning :P , itz the french line for "yes.. me too!!")

he he he .. tried s'thing diff (for my style, it IS different) as i heard many ppl talkin bot valentine's day ..

My HERO ...

2006-02-01T14:50:00.000+08:00

T'was one of those normal days except for the slight rain .. and t'was still drizzling when i started from home and by the time i reached the stadium, it had started raining again .. the athletes who wre practising outside the stadium in the 800 m track came inside the stadium for shelter .. i was tossing the shuttle (t's sorta warming up for badminton players) and so didnt pay much attention to the guys ... that is , until he came inside, playing with a football ... he was very attractive and many eyes turned when he walked in ... after that i couldn't concentrate on my game ... eyes kept wandering in search of him .. he was never in one place- roamin around the stadium playin with that football .. hmm .. lucky football!!! :-/

I went the next day .. and the next .. and everyday after that .. i saw him some days and didnt, on some days .. and those days seemed empty ; incomplete .. seein him made me so happy and contented .. but i didnt ve the nerve to approach him .. wat if he doesn't like me??? wat if he already has s'one???? oh no .. i couldn't bear to even think he'll never be mine .. so, i jus went to the stadium and looked at him everyday from a distance .... this went on for more than a month ... until one fine day, our stadium watchman introduced him to me ... i had gone to the locker to get a shuttle and he was there with our watchman ... and that day was one of the best days in my life .. and that was jus the start ...

slowly, v became frenz and found out that he didnt after all ve s'one yet ...(oh wow! :-) ..) and he liked me a lot ... as much as i liked him ... then v started hanging out together ... i liked his company more than any other's ... and i started spending most of my time with him .. v became inseparable ... we hung out together at our colony park, playground, stadium .. and everywre .. he waited for me outside my school gate patiently everyday .. i started to bunk classes at times and most tuition classes too ... and my frenz covered up for me both at home and school .. they knew how much i luved him and they knew i can never tel at home or that'll b the end of our relationship ..

our life went on blissfully like this until one day he decided to come to my place and surprise me ... i was horror struck .. he didnt understand the consequences that'll result if v r found together and i supect he hasn't to this day ... i was soo scared i couldn't njoy his company and was not much of a company to him either ... my mom had gone to the library and she was back and imagine her shock when she saw him ... she had a nervous fit and yelled at both me and bro-"who brought a DOG inside the house???????!!!! " i ve never seen her angrier .. she glared at both me and vivi and even more at my hero .. and my hero jus stood there wagging his tail not havin realised even now the situation he had landed both of us in .. i alwayz thought my hero was not that brainy but t'was proved that day .. for a dog, he was not bad though ... so dont jump to conclusions that he is dumb-witted or s'thing .. itz jus that he's an average .. like me .. suits me fine .. but my ma happened to ve a different opinion altogether .... she threw both of us out and told me to come back home after i ve returned him to his rightful owner ..

she didnt seem to hear me when i told her he didnt ve one .. or so i thought .. until she yelled at me-"omg !! u ve brought a stray dog inside my house .. get out both of u and dont come back until u leave him in some far off place ..and make sure i never set my eyes on him ever again ... undertand???" ... "yes ma" ...

so my hero went back with disgrace from my home .. :( .. and this was not all .. when i went back to the stadium, watchman anna told that he's goin away and so he's planned to take my hero with him as my darling had no one to take care of him .. boo hoo ... that was the last day i saw my hero ...

i still dream of him at times .. and i never owned a dog in my life .. even though 'm crazy bot dogs .. and i never understood my ma's hatred for dogs either ..

Driving in Chennai roads !!!

2006-01-24T19:30:00.000+08:00

Wel folks .. if u r dreaming bot driving in Chennai like Madhavan in 'Alaiypaayuthe' with a cd-man blaring 'Maddy Maddy..', then "Helllooooo!!! Welcome to Reality .. and to Chennai" .. Driving in Chennai roads ... (shudder) .. man .. not an easy task .. i ve been drivin for a li'l more than a year in Chennai and one thing i ve learnt is that, never follow the rules set by the government .. there are different road rules set by fellow-drivers (which is gettin worser and worser day-by-day btw) and those are the ones to be followed ..
For instance, u are waiting in the red signal ... there'll b 4 or 5 more seconds to go for the signal to turn green but ur fellow-drivers 'll not wait .. u know .. ppl r so busy they cant wait for those few seconds for the lite to change to green ... oh yeah!! like they cant wait to go to hell ...
And the tragic fact is that, u wont b allowed to follow rules either .. the other day, i was in the front of the row of vehicles and there wre still five seconds for green signal but as usual ppl near me started to drive but i , like gr8 miss.goody-goody, didnt budge from the place .. waited for the time to become zero sec and lite to turn green ... and that was one of the most embarassing moments in my life i think .. ppl behind me started yellin at me and scolding me .. :( and all for tryin to follow some rules ... 'm not the sorta person whoz easily tempted to follow rules and when out of the blue i decide to, look at the feedback?!!! :( and also, after the rains (which is another miserable story) , roads in many places r pathetic .. by the time u reach ur destination, u'll b shaken fully like u shake a tonic bottle b4 u ve the med .. :-/
and worse of all is this .. some ppl (and these ppl 'm telling bot are educated (??!!@) and in gud positions) when they r drivin their cars, smoke and the tap the ash out the window without a thought bot the ppl driving along ... and once they ve done with that cigarette, they jus toss it out the window .. :-/ .. and once i saw a guy jus flip it out and it landed on a gal who was driving a two wheeler and she lost her balance and nearly collided with another four wheeler .. god only knows how these guys cal themselves educated when they dont even ve the common sense to realise that they r causing trouble to fellow-drivers, not to mention the harms of the cigarette smoke and the pollution they r causing ...
and there's this other category of ppl who r so busy they ve to take cals while driving ... they wont give way for others to overtake either and meanwhile they'll b takin their cals and driving simultaneously.. how long 'll it take to park in a side of the road and take the cal and resme driving after that???? hmm ... :-/ .. saving precious minutes eh?? arey no yaar .. gettin a faster ticket .. when'll ppl realise that??? let 'em get their tickets faster but y get other ppl theirs??
so ppl, if u r new to Chennai and very new to driving , then plz try driving before seven in the morning and never bother to even try after that ... and if u think t'll b okie sorts to drive in the nite after eight or so, wel .. drop the idea ... chennai roads see a li'l lesser traffic only after ten in the nites and ppl who drive after that are really rash ... so dont risk ur lives .. i made that mistake and paid for it by spending over two thousand bucks on my bike and another eight hundred on my hospital bills and medicines .. not to forget the fact that i was limping around like kamal hassan in '16 vayathinile' and using only one hand (caz the other was not in a condition to be useful for anything) for over a month ... man .. i had my lesson .. so mark the words of an experienced person for experience is like a comb which nature gives when u r bald .. so, dont wait for ur own experience .. some things ought to be learnt secondhand ..
man .. 'm gettin gud at this now .. drivin in chennai roads i mean ... some school junior cald me the other day and told he saw me in besant nagar and that i was driving very fast .. he he he .. and my cousin had come to visit me and i had to pick her up and drop her off at central .. and she had told my mom (some pal she is) that my driving was rash .. this proves that 'm gud for driving in Singara Chennai ... ;) so, there u go .. u ve got some sage advice ... now itz is up to u .. Happy and Safe Driving!!!!

Diwali .. er .. Deepavali !!! :)

2006-01-20T17:56:00.000+08:00

DIWALI .. one festival i was crazy about ... there wre three festivals i alwayz looked forward to each yr ... Diwali, Holi and New Yr (wel .. u don’t exactly cal it a festival but back then, anything that cals for a celebration was a festival in my dictionary .. that belief still has some foothold in my heart .. ;) .. nywayz .. ) today, that festive mood has lost much of itz enthu/. ... i tel myself that itz caz i ve grown up ... but i think the real reason is that today the way of celebrating the festival has changed soo much that i ve lost the charm i had for it when i was a kid ..

those days, when diwali was jus a month away, we ( dad, mom , vivi and me) used to sit down for a round table conference ( er ... off the record, t'was either a rectangular dining table conference or the partially rect and partially oval - okie okie , i dunno the exact shape of it- table conference in the hall ) ... and this was the day v decided wat crackers v wre goin to buy for that diwali - after much fighting between me and vivi(my bro) and convincing by my ma and dad ("kanna ivlo vedi vendaam .. konjam flower-pot and chakra .. apram kambi-mathaapu vaangiko" .. ouff :- ) .. t'was alwayz this way, my dad gave us a list of crackers and the amount he was ready to spend on 'em for each of us and v wre free to choose wat v wanted (oh yeah??!!!!) ... how much ever my parents organized and bought crackers for us both, finally on the D-Day v managed to end up quarelling rite in the morning .. v wre both fond of all those noisy bombs and both of us hated flower-pots and chakras ... but then, v buy those caz v wre forced to by my ma esp. .... so i'll try to push all those to him and take all vedi's ... and he'll try to do the same to me .. finally v'll glare at each other and leave in the opposite directions to burst crackers with our respective frenz .. those wre fun filled days and v didnt ve much channels and crap programs ( na .. not all .. but most) named diwali-special-programs that today's kids seem to njoy more ......

when i think of Diwlai-on-those-days i never fail to remember that one Diwali when i was in sixth or seventh .... me and vivi started off the day like any other Diwali day and wre back home for lunch at sharp one thirty ... me and my gang had decided to stop bursting crackers for the afternoon and continue in the evening and all of us headed home for a few hours of rest .. (v wake up at three thirty .. so v need the afternoon nap) .. but i was not so sleepy and so after lunch, me and vivi along with a fren of his went down (v live in the second floor) ... v wre soo bored and suddenly one of us came up with a brainstorm (???!!!) .. v collected all the un-burst (oops!! sorry if such a word doesn't exist ... ) crackers and opened 'em and took the chemical in a sheet of paper .. finally after two hours of hard work, v had enough chemical for an atom bomb .. v wrapped up the sheet and decided to lite it and ve a grand bursting ... my bro lighted the self-made cracker with me and the other guy lookin and b4 v knew wat happened , all of us wre bruised and burnt ..

these guys had not washed their hands and when vivi lighted the cracker, the chemical in their hands also caught fire ... luckily(!!!?) i was a li'l farther and nothing much happened to me but those two wre badly hurt ... esp vivi .. his hands wre scarred and itz taken more than ten years for it to fade ..

v wre both royally thrashed left and rite by my ma but my dad was sorta lenient .. lectured us for a li'l more than an hour and made it a point to buy us extra crackers from the next year .. he he he .. but that diwali alwayz made us remember never to touch crackers that did not burst the first time .. and v cut a gud example for the neighbours to advice their kids .. "look at vivek and anu .. look at vivek's hands ... be very careful .. okie " ... oh yeah , sure .. :- quite an example v wre for a few yrs after this incident ..

wel !! gud or bad .. these r all fond memories in a way and i miss those days of diwlai and holi and all other festivals .. now , living far away from home (wel .. 'm not near enough to stay home and go to work .. and travelling more than 8 and half hours to reach home is pretty far for me) , i think of those days and the fun v had .. man !! how i wish i had a time machine .. i wud rewind back to all those wonderful days and more than that, for the days i had wasted which if given a chance now, i wud luv to compensate for ... hmmm ... any idea wre i can get one??? a Time Machine??!!!

My PG aspirations ??!!!!

2006-01-02T20:28:00.000+08:00

wel .. there ve been so many comedies(???!!!) in my life but the latest is the best(?!! no .. not for me) .. one fine day, long long ago (nearly a year back to be exact) , i finished all my tasks at office (the client office was closed for xmas .. apidiye new yr kum serthu.. but india la namma work pannanum .. no no .. work ellam illa .. office varanum .. yen na , billablitiy .. never work in client place) and was vettiya sittin in my seat not knowin wat to do .. mail ellam check panni mudinjathu ... and my seat is s'wre in the highway .. everyone ( to me, itz 'everyone '.. but wat i meant was , many) passing that way to their seats 'll stop at my place (note it ... they stop only when 'm jobless .. ppl turn blind when 'm working) and ask if i ve finished with checkin my yahoo mails, my company id mails, client id mails(me in client site ..), etc., .. poor me .. :( .. gotta laugh and tel, 'yep .. almost over' .. and all u get in return is "man, try to work at least once in a while" .. thevaya ithellam .. sivane nu oru orama naa iruken .. thedi vandhu itha soliye aaganuma???? ellam ennoda neram ...

seri nu, appa torture thaanga mudiyaama, plus life la oru meaning venume nu MBA pannalam nu decide panninen .. naa ennoda life-laye panna peria thappu ithuthaan nu pinnadi thaanga therinjathu .. things wre outta my hands by the time i realised it ... nywayz, matter ku varalam .. epadiyo, details ellam collect panni ( athu onnu thaan koraichal ... hmm :-/ ) , oru nalla univ (??!!!???? apadiya???!! ) la application ellam vaangi apply panni formalities and tests ellam finish panni join panniten .. ( appaada nu nenachen .. illa .. athellam oru matter-e illa .. inime thaan vishayame starting nu ippo thaanga theriyuthu ) .. all these happened and in the mean time, i was switched to a fixed bid project and t'was a very tight proj .. and 'me the gr8' was the only amateur in that project ... and u know wat .. ennoda neram .. my pl hated freshers and esp gals ...

"watz ur degree?" - my pl
"B.E" - naan thaanga
"wat technology?" -pl
" Java / J@EE" - me
" ouff .. who gave u 'n all degree???? .. i asked wat tech in ur b.e "
oooooooh .. okie okie .. question wasn't clear to me the first time ..
" oh sorry .. EEE "
" after doin electrical, y the hell did u come for a s/w job?? now i ve to put up with ppl like u .."

this was the sorta friendly(??!) conversation i used have with my pl and v hardly ever conversed .. the very few occasions that v did, v ended up hating each other more and more .. nywayz .. i'll blog all that in a different post .. so, i started havin soo much work that i harldy went home .. was literally living in office ... wat with the fact that i really was bad in programming and also, the deadlines to be met wre tooo short, i had to put in extra hours .. thus went my semester up in smoke ... i didnt write that sem exams .. gud start .. first sem-e intha latchanam .......

adutha sem-layavathu clear pannalaam nu i thought .. like i told, t'was a fixed bid proj .. t'was over in five months .. apram, release ( thank god for li'l favors) ... next project was a kewl one .. long term proj and so deadlines wre sorta kewl .. so, i decided to pursue my mba dreams .. oooh ... ( entha nerathula dream nu sonneno, dream-a ve iruku innum .... this month i ve booked my exam slots .. lemme c how 'm gonna fare) ..

ippo thaanga peria unmai onnu therinjathu .. corres/. MBA na , regular mba maathiri illa ... rules ellam they changed this year only it seems (next year panneerkalaam illa .. y now?? after all thse yrs??? vera year-e kedaikalaya?).. new rules .. blimey!! they ve multi-choice questions only in xamz!!!!!!!!!! (HORROR .. &*$$#%^) and to get ur MBA DEGREE (he he he .. wat a joke) , all u gotta do(??!!! ) is memorize ur text book which they r kind enough to give u once u pay ur fee .... (**&&%^$#$%#) .. "book la irukaratha mug adikanum.. avlo thaane "-nu neenga ninaikalam .. appadi thattifying easy-a irunthirundha, oru state rank illa at least oru district rank vaangi innaiku peria aala iruka maatena?? athu mudiyaathathaala thaane i am wat i am today?!! yen kashtam enaku .. exam vera nearing .. enna panrathune theriyala ..

when i tel my kashtam to folks, they jus laugh thinkin itz a comedy .. man!! my life is not a comedy .. aana onnu .. i'll clear all my papers .. four yrs time iruku illa ... paarthukalam .. etho kashtathilayum oru nalla kaalam .. padikaren nu solli (burning the midnite oil for the past ten days ... he he he) , ennoda roomies paavam ponnu nu midnite la coffee ellam pottu tharaanga .. nalla saaptutu, avanga tharathellem kudichittu, nalla novel padikaren .. normal days la enna mathikave maataanga .. ippo ore royal treatment thaanga .. chance-e illa .. "kaatrulla pothe thootrikol" (sorry if itz wrong .. me not very gud with pazhalamozhi's) .. btw, wish me luck ppl .. xamz r starting in another ten days ..